*sigh
listen, fags....
Somebody do something with this blog before I take my high heeled shoe and shove it straight up your anus.... or rather by your anus... whatever works.
you all suck.
In the mean time, here is my 'blogger' touring schedule. Should anybody wish to kick me in the side of the head you will find me at these locations throughout the summer.
Until then.....
June 15th-17th - Las Vegas (psycho baby)
June 21st -26th - Ft. Lauderdale Miami (Bostick)
July 9th - 13th - Dallas/Fort Worth (Menace)
July 18th - 26th - Bogota Columbia (White Devil)
August 4th - Fuckfest (Carl and Huneeb)
August 9th-11th - Portland/Spokane (Editorshawn)
August 18th - Phoenix (martinimini)
August 19th - 25th - Las Vegas (martinimini)
August 26th - Phoenix (martinimini)
fuckheAds :)
Somebody do something with this blog before I take my high heeled shoe and shove it straight up your anus.... or rather by your anus... whatever works.
you all suck.
In the mean time, here is my 'blogger' touring schedule. Should anybody wish to kick me in the side of the head you will find me at these locations throughout the summer.
Until then.....
June 15th-17th - Las Vegas (psycho baby)
June 21st -26th - Ft. Lauderdale Miami (Bostick)
July 9th - 13th - Dallas/Fort Worth (Menace)
July 18th - 26th - Bogota Columbia (White Devil)
August 4th - Fuckfest (Carl and Huneeb)
August 9th-11th - Portland/Spokane (Editorshawn)
August 18th - Phoenix (martinimini)
August 19th - 25th - Las Vegas (martinimini)
August 26th - Phoenix (martinimini)
fuckheAds :)
posted by Everything Nice at 1:09 PM
179 Comments:
you forgot to add the August 4th "Fuckfest with Carl" in Seattle.
Yeah and the donkey show in my hometown.
Its not my fault all you fags ran off. I have been trying to post here but no one comments then I feel like everyone hates me.
Fuck you Editor Shawn. Dick.
Carl lets make a gay sex video and sell it on the interweb.
What happed to that redneck scumbag? I heard he was arrested for burning a cross in some nignogs yard and would of got away but was hammered and tripped over a root.
Emma - Post some sexy photos of your ass and feet that I can crank off to.
yeah,where is that fag scumbag. i'm ready to give him a rim job.
bostick,
i'm all about gay porn. lets get some animals involved too.
Scumbag is a punk.
Ok and some old fat men like Shawns gay uncle. He is a bear.
Bogota Columbia... seems odd. Enjoy the travels hopefully by late summer Carl and Bostick will have a gay/animal fuck stag movie that you can promote.
hey piglet,
make sure you bring back plenty of the white stuff when you go to bogota. shave it in your ass if you have to so you can get through customs.
thanks,
pooh bear
sorry...that should be SHOVE instead of shave.
Bullshit Carl, you meant shave.
I'll ass fuck you like the bear you are Bostick.... fuckin' fag.
I heard Scumbag fathered two more nig kids and shot himself in the head.
editor shawn,
where have you been? have you been boofing johnny menace?
I heard Chinese pussy smell like egg roll.
Scumbag is one fertile dude. I bet he has a bunch of little half breeds running around their baby mamas leg.
i heard scumbag locked himself in the garage..........again.
Em you misspelled fuckheads
You guys always blow your load too early.
Except for Editor Shawn! That dude fucking kills me.
AHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Shit.
I guess I better edit this...
*makes note to self
Hmmm... fuckfest...with Carl... ok yes alright... bring large pack of cocaine shoved up my ass... ok good good I'll have some fiber...
hmmm what else...
*looks over list
Shots of my ass... ok... I can do that. Wait, is that with the cocaine shoved up there or without?
.
.
.
Nevermind. I have both anyway... ok lessee...
oh, ok no intended typos.. I have to fix that, I see... hmmm what else
scum is a fag
bo and carl like fucking animals
mesh wishes me luck
Shawn has an uncle that's a bear....
really? Shit Shawn I didn't even know you had an uncle.
wait... is that the one guy that did that one thing when you screamed like a girl and farted at the same time?
so the only timeslots open are either 'first' or 'follow Bostick and Menace'.... I was really hoping to go last.. I like it loose and sloppy.
Want me to take a trip NE to you then? I really should swing up to Maine and make Calzone a man.
I think he's due.
only if your meat curtains are hanging down mid thigh and chafed a lil... only then.
'he's due'... see.. that really sounds like more of a threat than some coital action. Poor kid.
Usually my threats contain coital action of some kind.
Speaking of. Let's talk meat curtains... I'm not sure I could get mine drawn to mid thigh, but I'm sure if you stood me on my head say oh, around September I could resemble a lovely lotus flower.
Meat curtains... almost as neat as squish mitten.
I think it might be fun to stand you on your head.. hell you look alright laying on your side, I mean shit you even have cleavage in that pic. Ya know... a lotus flower/morphed into meatcurtains would be an excellent new tatoo for ya! Quite the statement...
fuck i'm gabby today ... and way to damn visual also...
Start with a mail check.
I already have that tattoo.
Breach of contract my ass. I'll always be an enabler.
Now I'm going to enable my ass to get fatter...
emma,
your new picture makes me want to pull out my cock and stroke it. your tits look great in that picture. now bark like a dog you monnkey woman!
Emma,
I agree with Carl about your tits. I've spanked it to you so many times I don't need to tell you I need a towel.
Carl,
She purs better than she barks, true story.
PS - That round trip road trip will be fun. Just you and me alone in a car thousands of miles away from every body.
Whoops! Was that my wedding ring that just flew out the window?
Em you always aim to please don't you? So what's the trip to Vegas for that's still open?
Carl - WOOF WOOF? I do purrrrrrr better... it's all in the tongue roll you see.
Shawn - If you tell that story I will kill you.
Shawn/Carl - thanks, my tits appreciate your candor.
Shawn - I will push you out of the car and leave you with nothing but your wedding ring wrapped tightly around your cock. I'd steal your wallet too but you don't have any money.
Huneeb - Sex and alcohol. Maybe a show. Some black jack.. why?
I don't aim to please, but I would hope that they do.
Honestly, pick your target.. mouth, small of back, tits, chin, eye, nose, ear, the girl next to me...
really there's so many options.
stupid menace. *eyes welling up with tears* he has a tour date.
That punk. Did he put a hex on you?
I GUESS have a "good time"...*sob*
I will stay home and smoke a blunt and envy Harry Potter and his fake magic world.
Or quilt. Or make paper dolls. Or masturbate.
You can't take her seriously Spit. She's not meeting Johnny in Texas.
I'm sure you could masturbate with one of those quilting needle things if you really wanted to get creative?
E - At least this time the ring would remain somewhere in the general vicinity of my cock! I'm not afraid of you! A little intimidated sometimes maybe, but not afraid!!
And honey, how you threw Harry Potter in there I have no fucking clue but good on ya' for that.
Well I am still holding my breath until I get my way.
After I inhale.
Bong or Joint - and, why?
Please use 20 words or less to describe why you chose either or both:
So, is that a no on the quilting needles?
My wedding ring is sitting right here in front of me.
It's hanging off the end of a thumb tack.
*chunks ring*
No, really, I am happy for you. (you really got married?) Congratulations :P
Bong if it were here. Joint over bong. Less complicated and on my balcony it looks like a cigarette.
I think you might be thinking of crochet needles. (the big long fuckers?)
Figures, you'd get that shit wrong Shawn.
Morning! I chose a bong over a joint cause I like to fill my throat without a heavy burn.
Need to keep it soft and pliable...
I did get married but she shares! Okay and about this whole needle thing, it doesn't really matter what's to which. If there's masturbation involved I better have a web cam!
Emma you're a slut.
*winks
And how do you know who I'm meeting and who I'm not? Don't get all big brother on me now, I'm on a roll!!
A roll of x maybe!!
You've gotta be high, there's no way you're actually meeting all these bloggers or you would have told me!
I would have?
Yes.
You're sure?
Really?
YES.
I mean come on! White Devil in Columbia, with you? Nobody's even HEARD from White Devil in months, the dude's blog is gone, his profile is gone...
And tell me how the fuck Scumbag's going to meet you in Las Vegas, his old lady would pummel you!! Shit, his old lady would pummel HIM.
quit dashing my dreams, I need her to "come out here to see menace"
I was already making imaginary plans that involved evie too...
Oh, I'm still coming out there Stealth no worries!!!
you're all sluts.. don't start singling one out over the others.
So tell me why you think nobody has heard from White Devil? Maybe it's because he's in Bogota right now living off the good people of the nearby village?
I could see him all tan and sweaty, covered in pigs blood... *swoon
Could be that he defected and contacted me once he heard that I would be in Columbia.
Or maybe it was the text I sent asking him if he'd be available to share his sod house when I arrive...
I don't want her to go down there and meet Johnny but you are welcome to do with her as you please.
I agree with Mesh. Although you can fight over me if you want.
I call bullshit on White Devil in Columbia but the text comment was well done and almost convincing!
I ignored the sweaty bigs blood comment but you and White Devil have always had this strange 'thing' going on that totally creeps me out.
And I never said I was spending time in Vegas with Scumbag. I said I was spending it with psycho baby.
I hear she's quite the slutbag and loves to hit the craps table.
Besides, I'm sure that Scum and his old lady wouldn't mind me taking their little hellyun off their hands for a day or two... Hell, maybe she'll win big and they can buy a new trailer!
I had a sweet sod house set up for a while in Belize.. till the fire ants ate out my asshole one night. But let's not discuss that story.
WD must be another guy that she's killed off. I'm telling you there's something to that theory!
It's only because he says cunt like a man.
I agree with mesh too. We are all sluts.
I am rereading emma's comment about the sod house very carefully because I am full on retarded now....
*stares at joint*
my "boyfriend" makes me use a bong...fucking thing looks like a dragon...
why am I still typing...
Emma, bring the school girl getup...
HEY!
Okay :) I had a bong that looked like a big cock... loved that thing.
One of my friends sat on it and broke it.
why do they craft bongs to look like stupid crap?.. it's not like you're going to keep it on the mantle, well unless you're a complete dumbass - then you might. That and they smell like ass - i don't care how artistic it looks that bong water smells worse than pig blood and sweat mixed
Mesh just called you a man-killer E!
Try washing the bong after use, always helps. E cleans hers with Toluene.
Not my fault you're all just a bunch of emotional shallow fuckups that get attached to me!
Christ, chin up you fucking pussies and quit being so god damn emotional!
your harsh words make my soul ache and I pine for cuddle time.
A stoner that washes their bong is wasting time during a nice buzz.
Neil Diamond
*GASP
*cries
You bitch! How dare you!
hahahahah...*giggle*
I used to have a weird little pipe...it had wiggle eyes so I broke it myself out of terror.
Right Mesh, but the Toluene keeps the buzz going longer... trust me.
jesus Stealth that sounds really scary actually!
what the hell just happened during my slow ass typing...man I need to speed myself up..
Mesh-
She doesn't cuddle so well, she's way too little... There's potential to lose her in the crack of the bed or behind the couch cushion.
yea you enjoy that toleune:
What are the Health Effects?
Short-term: EPA has found toluene to potentially cause the following health effects when people are exposed to it at levels above the MCL for relatively short periods of time: minor nervous system disorders such as fatigue, nausea, weakness, confusion.
No wonder your a ditzy fucker that's constantly tired and can't gain weight.
*sigh*... I hate having to do that type of thing.
it was...it was supposed to be a "fish". My brother gave it to me. He is into fish and builds aquariums or whatever...had a Stingray named ray ray.
I still had to throw it..it was scary and then it was REALLY scary once I used it...
*panic attack forming over recount*
ya know, evie has that hot Ivana Bribe cop outfit.
You should do the tour and make shirts.
Damn I am retarded right now.
Or the crack of your ass?
Yeah, and looking that shit up is EXACTLY why you're so uptight. Didn't anybody ever tell you that you shouldn't read the health effects on that shit? Just go with it.
Fucker SHUT UP! I can cuddle just fine!
whoa, are we both little people? I just left a lil film on your page there em... *giggle*
No you can't.
Oh that's right, you ladies are myspace friends. How sweet.
Stingray named Ray Ray? Did you throw the stingray or the pipe that looks like a fish?
Eat ass Shawn.
If you two fuck, can I watch?
friggin attention whores on myspace.. I swear.. needy bitches.
I'm uptight? no.. i'd just use soap and water to clean out a bong, not go find some super solvent that every true stoner MUST have... just relax.. go with water.. high maintenance.
I like stealth's ass by the way... good curves. Fills out the pants nicely.
I never met Ray Ray. I saw the tattoo version of Ray Ray on my brother's bicep when I went to see him on base.
I stalk her on myspace and it *is* sweet.
I had to lock my stupid blog again because of an actual stalker ...fucker actually added himself to my map when he connected the myspace dots and found my blog.
ugh.
Hey, where did my joint go...
Can I just say that any reason to walk into the hardware store, whether it be the super Lowe's or the mom and pops paint shop with the teenage cashier is a good reason.
And toluene is my reason.
Enough said.
God bless that cashier. Jesus.
So, that's a no on the letting me watch while you fuck Spitfire?
Only if you watch me fuck Menace.
FUCK YOU!
And Bostick.
stalkers suck.. no doubt!
women really don't belong in hardware stores. It's bad enough to be euphoric over the selection of things a guy can buy - but it's almost annoying to get distracted by a chick there for the blatant attention.
Not that I wouldn't be more than happy to discuss pvc pipe and bar clamps with her...
And Martini Mini.
And White Devil.
And Carl.
And Huneeb.
And ..........
*giggle* uh...hey doesn't mesh appear at your meltdown...I get confused...
And I love that you said Lowe's and not Home Depot.
*swoon*
*looking for a lighter* brb
I go in for the power tools, not the attention. I also go in for paint solvents, landscape crap, moldings, kick plates, garden tools...
nails
gloves
goggles
tool belts
boxcutter refills
New drill bits....
I thought Shawn was gay? seriously you ppl had me convinced of that...
that and his chippendale pic
and why "watch" them fuck?!? jeezus son - get in there, fuck both of them!!!!
"Listen, Lupus, you didn't come into this life just to sit around on a dugout bench, did ya? Now get your ass out there and do the best you can."
Morris Buttermaker
I might watch you and Huneeb. And maybe you and Carl because I think it's be hilarious to see him lose his virginity.
But that's a big no on the others. And HEY, why wasn't I mentioned in that list?
So mesh reads books of qoutes... Tell me dude, have you heard this one?
"I like to think of my body as a timeshare. The more money you invest, the more time you get to spend with it...."
yeah me too. I had to do everything when I was married. The yard looked bitchin'...I always had to have the man next door start the mower cause I am too short and had to jump to start it like a retarded midget ....
once it was started I could restart it...damn that was a big yard.
hmm...last thing I bought was a stud finder.
"bitchin'"
haven't heard that one.. is it in the REI sales book? Sounds like Mae West though - you're not that old...
also
you only need 1 toolbelt, 1 set of goggles, 1 set of gloves.... see ya reinforced my point... going back for crap ya don't need!!!
Stealth - I've gone to that Meltdown place but it's like talking to a black hole in there (insert any 'black hole' reference you want here)
This is like "My Dinner with Andre" for stupid people.
Sorry Mesh you got it wrong, that was an Emma qoute... It goes nicely with this one:
"Don't force me to blow you, I'll shove my tongue straight down your pee-hole, loop it around your vans defrens and yank em out!".
Both very good quotes Shawn. Here's my favorite:
"You could easily be the woman I spend the rest of my life with, only I'm not going to ask you if you'd like to come home with me because you'll see that I live with my mother. So let's just go get a hotel."
OO. We have a new student...
Mesh and Shawn, please do the honors and initiate mr. damned.
I have a man to see about a horse.
fucking fags.
Great. That's just what we need. ANOTHER John.
E,
You got space in your schedule for another John, don't you? I'm sure there's a timeshare slot available that's WIDE open.
You're the best looking whore ever! I want to plunge my dick between your tits.
love,
Shawn
I love the word plunge.
Don't ya hate when phone reps show up at the office to talk about 'i can save you blah blah' when you're in the middle of important dialogue. Fuckin annoying.
Can you actually 'plunge' between her B cups? go get her pencil dick. (Another bad visual.. ugh)
Quote -
Fuck you I'm not paying the cab fare, you just had 4 orgasms and I'm still blueballed from the last time you said you'd make me cum.
Stealth - I hope you maintain your buzz all day and that you provide pics of you dressed up like Ivana GropeU or whatever that role playing outfit was.
I heard you fell asleep Mesh.
HOLY FUCK it's a conspiracy!
I don't sleep.. not without one eye open at least.
The conspiracy theories are completely true... no doubt.. definitely.
Did she drug you too? Was there lesbian porn?
Look at Shawn getting so excited! Proud of you, trying to figure out my M.O.
Here, jot this down in your notebook for me:
No, he liked horse racing and alcohol and it was dutch threesome porn.
Ivanna Bribe is the other chick down here...I don't have that outfit..
someone drugged me damnit.
But thank GOD for that one eye open. Kinda creepy but it's the only way you can get him to look you straight in the eye when he's talking.
*fights offensive comment due to current company.
EM!!! thank god you are back...I am very confused.
People are using plungers in here.
Or the word plunge.
Wow, shawn used plunge in a sentence?
I'm so proud.
I don't know who said it, but I love that word.
That chick did drug me.. hence the reason I didn't cum. Not sure why though - think she was just a mean fucker.
I only like harness racing, and I can only watch american porn cuz subtitles are distracting - for the record.
Fine Stealth .. whatever.. what outfits do you have?!?! Even though I'm fairly disappointed now.
Wait - are we supposed to fight offensive comments? when the fuck did that happen?
I just found one of those bags of gold coins that you get in your stocking in the pantry.
fucking score.
munchies and horniness... must be good weed.
it smells like a damn christmas tree and saltines have never tasted better.
I.need.sex.now.
*sob*
Damnit where did EN go...i need to know which of these songs to put on this cd...
this is critical.
Im going to fuck all of you skanks. Especailly you Shawn.
bostick!! hi!!!!!!
Someone post please and I will let Carl out of his cage.
I do not have the authority to do such a thing
why can't you post?
your thing on your blog called things just made me laugh for fifteen minutes.
Bostick eats ass with a spoon and hates me.
I do not hate you you crazy dildo fucker. I cant post because its not my turn. It is Shawns turn.
Thanks stealth. I only post blogs when I am hammered from now on.
Shawn will never post cause he's got nothing interesting to say to anybody.
and he's not funny!
And I posted. I did my part. What about everybody else?
You and I have been hammering this shit Bostick, it's time for somebody else to pull some fucking weight around here.
Leave Carl in the cage til I get there.
bostick...you hate en? she is the reason right now this food tastes so good I am sure of it.
mmph....
Someone tagged me ...there is nothing I am saying that makes anysense.
I am going to sit here like a good girl and wait for my tour date...
*searches for lighter*
I'd like to get tagged actually.
PIGFUCKER - Come here and fuck me then you queer!
E - I offered
Spit - What kind of CD are you making and what the hell does E have to do with your food tasting good?
oh, never mind.
yay, now I know who to tap, er...tag
oh yeah, my cd...
One of my roomates actually just said "every child is special"
when the girl he knocked up said "I don't wanna be having yo baby because I don't need no special child"
I am laughing really really hard and I need a moment to compose myself. They aren't laughing.
?
Hey E can I post that picture you sent to your boyfriend in Thailand?
What?
That picture you sent to your man in Thailand, can I post it?
What picture I sent to my boyfriend in Thailand?
The one three subject lines down in your other secret super special email.
black tank top.
Don't play dumb, you sent it last night! Subject line "checking in on you".
*chin drops
Listen faggot stay out of my email boxes!!!
I'm so cool people get jealous of my mere existance.
I am drooling over the avatar...huh....a man in thailand?
what the hell is wrong with you shawn?
don't you have a camera and frequent contact with her??
start dropping pencils around and snapping pictures of her. hide some damn cameras around. Someone needs to feed my fix.
"don't play big brother on me Shawn"... "Shawn here's my email info"
so many mixed messages.. I feel sorry for Shawn
damn....
Yes E, see... mixed messages.
So you are going to say no, but you mean yes.
Whatever SPIT! I don't see you pitching in for a kodak moment for fucks sake!
Yes, Thailand.
Only? I didn't give you my email info you damn queer.
And shut up Mesh, it's not like you're this golden boy of everything clear and concise!
I love it when you call me queer.
Okay that's a yes.
actually, i was posting pics all over the place just the other day on a certain site just to get pics of her so don't give me that crap shawn. :-P
I do what I can from all the way down here in Texas.
*sniffle*
I have to admit, I bet you have tons, and you don't share, and you are in her email box, and it's not fair.
Now I am depressed and need to smoke more.
Stroke of luck that I got her email password.
She got pissy with me and her and the wife double teamed me like rampant fucking midgets and I had to give all of her pictures back.
I have nothing except a couple of old ones and this new one which isn't half bad actually.
I don't have to be clear and concise! I'm just here to sit nice and be quiet.. if it's at all possible.
I think she's definitely saying "yes" Shawn.. plus the guy in Thailand will appreciate her being proud enough to show off the tanktop I'm sure.
This way StonerStealth can rub one out while rolling around in gold coin wrappers also.. it's a win/win.
my new heroes....hey us little people have feelings too...I just get called smurf though....
rampant midget may have been used by my ex I dunno....
I say no don't share you ass. That picture was for him and only him.
I love being referred to as a rampant midget. So much better than short shit.
hey, I resemble that, and how can I rub one out with the conversation going on in this room behind me...
Oh wait, I know where to look....
;-) yummmm....en pics....
Speaking of!
Let's get that one posted shall we?!?!?!?
*holds breath*
Evie said she would play at the melt with me ...let me call her.
Maybe with both of us begging she will come down here.
Leave a tender moment alone assreamer!
:(
I'd be scared to see her emails... seriously... the variety would be fantastic but the content could cause acid reflux
Well there were only 3 in there in total. Two were for cock enlargement and the other was from 'him'. It was sweet...
awwwwwwww.
"tender moment" and recently she "likes to cuddle"...
weird shit i tell ya
I get short shit but I also get "shorty" which I think is the new way of saying "babe"
My older brother used to call me short shit.
He tried to tickle me until I couldn't breathe to prove you could die laughing for the science fair.
LMAO @ Mesh!
Why don't you post a picture of you shawn?
incestual face sitting.. see that's something i hadn't heard of till now
Hey Spitfire,
Hang in there honey, the come down isn't so bad.
don't call me the "s" word...google crawls comments daily for that name because of a psycho.
eh who cares.
what come down? this is an all day pity party I have going.
besides shawn, it really isn't fair.
it wasn't face sitting....he climbed on top of me and tickled my ribs until I laughed so hard I couldn't breathe and was turning purple and stuff...then got out the shitstorm he was about to be in by saying it was for science. He even had a display board to back up his story..
Fucker.
pity party? wtf.. pull your lettuce leafs back together and be happy ya pansy.
Jeezus - more over emotional women that want to be held and to cry after fucking them senseless.. great.. just what the world needs.
I have no idea what you just said...
Have I been fucked senseless? Crying is not for sex or football.
I am happy, I am just not all here... *giggle* *drool*
poor kid.. nice ass and easily confused.. seems to be a constant in this blog.
no drooling unless you're being teased relentlessly by the tip of a dick on the end of your nose.. then you can drool. Manners woman. Manners
Mesh is right, but NEW POST!
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