Today is my birthday but not yours!
First, I am going to do is this!
And This!
Then I am going to smoke some crack and some pot, in that order!
And This!
Then I am going to smoke some crack and some pot, in that order!
Then I am going to make sweet love to this hot woman!
Then I am going to do a little body painting!
Then I am going to crank off to a little porn!
I hope you have a nice day on my birthday too!
posted by JBoombostick at 6:15 AM
96 Comments:
This is grade A fucking holy living shit hilarious.
Happy Birthday Bostick. I hope you get your sperm swallowed today!
I Hope so too and I hope that I don't have to be the one swallowing it!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY Buttmunch!
Wish I could join you in the festivities....except for the jizz swallowing!
Hi Emma....kisses
happy birthday.
would you want to gang bang that girl/guy?
If she was a little harrier I would for sure!
I brought you a gift for your birthday bo.
Actually, it was Shawns idea....
And Shawn, stop being an asshole and wish Bostick a happy birthday.
Yeah Shawn you fag.
Wish me a happy birthday you cum dumpster.
Happy Birthday you sweet chunk of man ass.
You know Bostick, Emma will be in your area tomorrow. Feel free and fuck her!
That is my gift to you.
Thanks Shawn.
900 miles away is not really 'my area'. I would be thrilled to have lunch with Mrs Em but not to worry, no fucking is going to happen. You don't have to blame her again like you did that time she fucked Johnny Menace.
Well alright then, you have until tomorrow morning to make up your mind on that.
I'll have to let her know whether she will have to stretch herself out in preparation like leather in the sun.
No need to bring that fag up.
You are not my pimp shawn.
what fag? johnny menace johnny menace?
And you wonder why I don't comment.
You are such the jealous big brother! Emma told me that Johnny Menaces cock is bigger than yours!
Bigger but nut uglier. You have that adjective covered.
I see nothing ever changes in here.
Really, she did huh?
HI Tumbleweed!
Yeah way bigger and uncut.She described it like it was a piece of food. Maybe she will describe it again for us. Makes yours look like a little Vienna sausage. She said.
Hi tumbleweed! Have you pooped today? I have.
And he has more hair than you. She said that also.
And she said you smell like B.O. sometimes. Johnny Menace never smells like B.O. Said that too.
You're a cocky fucker today Bostick.
That's because he smells like ass and vinegar and eggplant.
Deep fried ass, vinegar and eggplant.
Hi Shawn.....how's married life??
Bo...yes, a big healthy one! You want ass sex don't you?
Boring and useless but I'm getting laid regularly.
no i think it was more like... my cock is shaped like an eggplant but stings like vinegar..
happy birthday bo.... anyone get you a new goat?
Well holy fuck, short of Scumbag pissing every body off it looks like the gangs all here.
... sounds like you missed me..
Now where is Emma?
She can't be far behind you. No, I didn't miss you, things have been nice and quiet without you around.
and murshy... hmmmm
boring and useless.....sounds like marriage. Way to go!
I do envy the getting laid on a regular basis. I mean, it sucks to party anytime I want and not have to fuck the same dick every night. Hhhhmmm, that sounded a bit sarcastic didn't it. oops!
Someone go to myspace and tell scumbag to join us!
that's what i was about to ask... help me catch up shawn.. speaking of nice and quiet hows the wife?.. and are you planning on getting a new car anytime soon?
No actually Weed it sounded like you were being honest.
Johnny, how was Thailand? That was a nice email you wrote Emma while you were away.
I told you that fucker wasnt dead
Yeah That email was really sweet menace.
I just got a new car. Myspace is for fags.
you've never been to thailand?... yeah i'm catching up and i'm guessing where these Ha...slut comments are there was a letter to that post... i don't know shawn.. what did you think of the letter...
I am going to get my cock pierced and jump out of a car for my birthday!
bo - and how did you imagine that i would die?
sean - i found the letter made it sound like they were in their close 40's and really into Ezra Pound...
Johnny Menace, why did you add me to Gtalk then remove me.That really hurt my feelings. I had to go to a therapist.
yeah but that new car is already been broken in... so go lease another one.
Johnny is the love child of a retard and a locust.
for that exact reason.. for you to go to a therapist... and because your a drama queen and you like that shit...
so Shawn, what was more painful? the piercing tear or actually getting married?
Menace - I assumed you had a stroke from saying confusing things and died.
really sean... 2 months... and that's all you can come up with.. retard and locust..
Yeah i thought that was pretty gay also.
Marriage.
Hi Jen.
I just know she's fucking watching me.
Fine Menace how about you have my old car then?
thats like something some arab camel jockey would say "yer mother is a locust!"
See. Now this is like back when I had this one birthday party where EVERYBODY showed up and everybody found out all sorts of weird and embarrassing shit about me because...
well just because.
Hello everybody. I have panties on today but not for long.
Where is your hot little wife Shawn. I got those photos you took of her in the shower shaving her twat. I beat off to them at lunch!
Hi jen ;)
I like white panties with skid marks.
why would i want your old car...
and bo.. quit being so indecisive and go with your gut feeling..
....
and i would just like to go on record for saying that i did not send him those.
hmmm ENs hear now... where is murshy... hmmmm or is he..
maybe jen did..
bo.. did those bitches of jen have any shots of their new car?
Why would you naturally assume that Mesh would follow me here?
What's so great about panties?
oh and bo i hope this helps with the therapy
i'm trying to use seanlogic and piece together things...
Bitches of gin?
Pitchers of bitches and a side of gin filtered through panties.
Where did Shawn go?
is that the picture with jen and her lazy eye?... how is jen's eye.. we should name it..
Brown Eye? I will call it pinky.
I think Shawn couldnt handle us talking about his wife. Sorry Shawn but she is pretty hot especially with soap running down the small of her back. wow.
You should be flattered by my compliment.
that's cold.. bostick.. like sean's ass is all in jen's face and somehow her lazy one drifted off in seans ass and got a stink rub... really.. bo.. this is the man's wife....
HAHAHA! Stinky eye sean!
really bo.. you calling out jen's ass eye is almost as bad as calling weed rhino... 59x
That was a combination of rhino calling. Carl did most of it and they are lovers..
... lazy eye.. lazy eye... i'm liking droppy..
of course sean is no help.. come on sean i asked a question.. can't you help me answer it..
I like Droopy too.
any other choices before we put this to a vote?
I find it hilarious that Shawn misses you so much Johnny... BFF's and all.
Then you come back and he bails.
I bet he's off putting on his sunday best and a head band.
I like... well yes, Droopy works for me.
ok.. so.. no other lazy eye names...
After we vote on that, can we talk about other lazy things?
Like what mexicans?
saggy... sad little april... .. and while we are at it lets get a back story for jen's eye.. did it pop out of socket one day?... born like that?.. or............. she was in Fulijah shopping and she dropped her change when a piece of saddams statue hit her in the back of the head and she looked down at saddams stone finger that hit her and realized the power of one... one little finger represnted and looked deep inside to find out she wasn't the person she wanted to be that she had dreams.... dreams that included a back seat and ENs tongue and then.. her eye got sad?
... i'm catching up...
Those eyes dont look crooked to me.. And I believe that the Saddam statue was bronze.
Please Shawn, come back it is my birthday.
her eyes watered. she was satisfied.
you really think saddam would only have one statue... CNN is really limiting you..
i love nig nogs
FUCK ME!!!!
HOW DID I COMPLETELY MISS BO'S BIRTHDAY YESTERDAY!?!?!? WHY DOESN'T ANYONE CLUE ME INTO THIS SHIT?!?!? WTF??? Y'ALL SUCK.
Damn it.
Bo, I'm sorry.
I heart you. You're still my BFF even though I'm sucky at being a good BFF these days. I wish you a very VERY happy birthday... even if a bit late. Call me when you get a chance, K?
*moist kisses... wet nibbles... bites and twitches...
~d.
(damn, I suck.)
yum!
Ok so now all of the sudden I suck.
well it's not like that's a recent development but, okay.
btw. It's sunny and beautiful here and I am in a bikini.
I also skinny dipped last night under the stars..
fags.
Happy Birthday Bo... I tried to ship you a fainting goat but UPS didn't believe me that he was stuffed... maybe I should have tranq'ed it first? I dunno no...
I am a little jelly that Em went skinny dipping....haven't done that in forever.... :( shit.
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