Carl Spackler... In The Flesh
I would like to thank Carl for finally coming out of his shell and sending a picture to me. Really Carl, I truly don't understand why you've been so secretive about what you look like. I find you QUITE handsome indeed!!
Not to mention... It gives a whole new meaning to bare-backing, doesn't it???
Not to mention... It gives a whole new meaning to bare-backing, doesn't it???
Thoughts??
posted by BirdMadGirl at 9:54 AM
241 Comments:
That explains everything.
I'm not buying 1 1/2 dinners for you carl.
And if this is your sick way of getting a threesome....
then, im impressed.
wow.
i really don't know what to say.
if he is half... horse pig man?.. he got the a bad deal on the cocksize.. shouldn't have gone with the horse or man cock...... why pig cock?
clearly i got screwed in the cock department.
but at least you can trot..
and snort!
No wonder Bostick likes you so much Carl.
And is it ok if I yell "Giddy Up!!" While we're doin' it?
yes, nameless...you can yell giddy up. you can even slap me with a whip.
that will make me bang you harder.
Piglet,
i wanted to let you know i bought some powder at lunch. it comes with corn starch and aloe vera...helps reduce the ball sweat.
Valyna just say yes - and which end are you starting on?... is there one cock or 2 pig cocks?
carl - i don't have a question to answer for you
johnny,
what would you say is your proudest moment in life so far?
please respond in essay format...1000 word maximum.
Carl, do you have 2 cocks???
Carl - did you know that depending on how sensitive your sack skin is that may actually harm you?
OH yes Johnny - tell Carl about your proud moment.
*snort*
You know what is going to be funnier?! When I post the REAL carl photo.
hmmm.. now techincally according to everyone i should answer this with a question... but i have to disagree..
the proudest moment in my life is when i achieved a moment of perfection .. when my moment was positioned to when the quanity of that tangleable was applied to where the moment was was equal to handle it..
unless your talking about moment of inertia.. that's a whole other equation...
..... just because you don't get the answers you except.. doesn't mean i'm not answering questions directly....
I beat off at lunch.
holy fuck.
did everybody see that sexy brain?
Johnny, you are a fucking retard.
That shit makes no sense.
retarded enough to join this blog with you..
I think he's brilliant.
(Just thought you should know).
nameless,
only one cock and a small one at that.
piglet,
should i be concerned? how will it adversely affect me? so far i haven't noticed any problems.
johnny,
that was a great response.
pat yourself on the back.
I'd have to agree with you Em... there's something to be said about a sexy brain. I'm a big fan myself.
or you could just hoof my back for me
Then I think you should blow me Sullen...
right here.
blow you away...
jesus i have to break the habit of calling you that huh....
hmm ok pls pick a new name. Not morticia .. too many bad adams family re-runs....
Yes Johnny, right after i look at the cross..
i guess that answer takes away Hunee b's dear abby status...
so you have the lungs then..
Hola white people!
Valyna's Lullaby - how about Kuff krazed bitch?
Johnny es mi padre.
Deseo poner mi dedo en vagina agradable de las muchachas.
I cannot indulge in hispanic racism.
that and pubic hair are against my religion
beaner - i know the the schools aren't that good.. and you probably been spitting on car windows since you were 3.. but you don't need the deseo.. come on.. don't insult us with your proper spanish.. just say pongo or if your playing on see those girls again pondré..
unless you are from spain.. then you would just say poner.. but that wouldn't make you a beaner now would it........ so which is it.. beaner or catillian?
I like it up the ass. Want to fuck?
and the reason your not able to google catillian and figure out what that is... is because you'll need to spell it castilian...
Fuck me Johnny? In the ass? I am a dirty bitch.
want to get tested?
You can cum in my gaping twat. If that is what you like.
I am carls sister by the way.
You know, Im a dirty bitch that likes it in the ass but I have yet to see anybody take me up on my offer...
you'll have to try a different angle big tit whore...
perhaps a 10 and 2
and haircut? i don't want to think about Kim Fields when i face you...
want some braces to? i have a thing about rodent mouth..
your not carls sister you don't even have a second pair of legs..... pig face yes... but where's the horse part...
johnny confuses the shit outta me. probably because i'm just a fucking baby.
no its always been like that shane..
Fuck you then JM you are a dirty little dick mexican anyways
hmmm... the baby when to bed...
whore - i know it hurts to hear no.. but don't lash out at me.. you need to look at your self and wonder why it is i don't want to fuck you...
shane is dead, there is only psycho baby.
fag.
maybe psycho baby can learn from shane's mistakes with this rebirth...
will you quit being such a vague faggot and make some goddamn sense.
christ, the only one that doesn't talk in some kinda dumb fuckin' ass code is bostick........
hello?
ahhh, fuck off........
Im back.
The new Johnny Menace is a fag.
shane.. do you want me to directly point out what your mistake was...
I think Johhny Menace confuses himself...
Johnny while I will acknowledge your point that the answer we receive is not always sufficient to the answer we are looking for however is an answer none the less...I think what everyone is trying to point out is that often your answers are NOT direct but are elusive and vague like the one above…
“the proudest moment in my life is when i achieved a moment of perfection .. when my moment was positioned to when the quanity (sic) of that tangleable (sic) was applied to where the moment was was (sic) equal to handle it..”
While some may see this answer as intellectual I do not. I think it is a feeble attempt using copiously verbose dialect to sound modishly keen. Hell you didn’t even spell tangible correctly. Let’s break it down… your proudest moment of perfection is when a quantity of that tangible was equal to the moment you could properly handle it. Really?? That can be almost anything. Is this when you learned to properly tie your fucking shoes or what; you finally understood what they meant when the bunny goes thru the cave?
I have yet to read something that I would constitute as intelligent. Sorry to be so harsh...
or shall we leave it a psycho baby is the rebirth of shane.. and hopefully he want make the same mistakes..
nice ass!
we are writing thesis in the comments today... good.. let me reply
WTF?
(hunee makes me wet)
I think it is a feeble attempt using copiously verbose dialect to sound modishly keen.
That is modern language... in fact it is the basis for communication as a whole.
Perhaps if his answers were still elusive but based on emotion it would be better accepted?
damn, burn.
I had a sandwich with bugels for lunch.
And can I just add that learning to tie my shoes was, in fact, one of the proudest moments of my life.
Huneeb hates Johnny Menace.
i had whiskey.
a sexy brain is a fucking waste....just shut your trap and do me!
I totally heart huneeb.....btw
Huneeb virtually bitch slapped Johnny in her comment.
I bet he is looking at thesauras.com right now trying to make something sound mature and intelectual.
I have to disagree with weed. Sexy brains host the most intelligent of foreplay... so much better than:
"hi"
"hi"
"you have nice eyes"
"thanks, they are bloodshot."
"Really"
"yes"
...
"So.."
"so"
"what do you think of the music here?"
"I dunno, its okay.."
...
"You like polka?"
"yeah, thats why I'm here"
"oh"
"do you like sex?"
"sometimes"
....
At least you aren't confused... coming off a little frustrated .. but still concrete in your stance..
I don't think its harsh that you don't constitute it as intelligent... we just see down a different path.. different taste.. not everyone appericates the same art in the same manner.... if your not getting anything out of then move on to the next piece... my question would be why are you staring so hard if you don't get anything out of it?... what is it your looking for?
Regarding my answering questions.. I think the questions are vague.. if you want definitive answer ask definitive questions... someone who studied a little law should no how... right?... The 2nd problem with that is the answers are there.. but most people focus on the wrong thing or the fact that wasn't the answer they were looking for.... sometimes the answer isn't for the person who asked the question..
and to answer you question ---
"your proudest moment of perfection is when a quantity of that tangible was equal to the moment you could properly handle it. Really??"
physically speaking .. yes
questions?
Johnny is very smart.....but I also think he is prolly some 60 year old psychology professor at some Texas Juco.
I always just ignored chicks and made fun of them. They loved it.
I don't need any verbal forplay.....bring on the hands and mouth you stupid mute!
Yes, I have a question
are you wearing underwear right now?
bo - i was looking through wikipedia.. and looking up castillian also
i don't think johnny has grammar check on his computer either.
I dont think Johnny should have smoked that second one.
Perhaps he misspells on purpose... did anybody think about that one?
Johnny: Does verbal foreplay give you a hard on?
shane - i never have
bo - your worried about my health
Okay, direct question...
Johnny - How did you know exactly that Psycho baby was Shane in disguise?
be specific.
I mispel on purpose all the time....and johnny and I have nothing in common
weed - depends on how dirty the verbage is
shane do you mind that i answer En's q...
my verbage is always raunchy!
Johnny and Carl were passionate lovers,
But Carl couldn't stand the weight of the covers,
So on cold winter nights
They wore long woolen tights,
And they even bought fur-covered rubbers.
I heart hunee.
I heart menance.
But I understand and have to agree with Johnny's comment when he stated, "the proudest moment in my life is when i achieved a moment of perfection .. when my moment was positioned to when the quanity of that tangible was applied to where the moment was was equal to handle it.."
Because I now know what that feels like as well. I'm sure the situations are different - but I know exactly what he means.
My only gripe is the misuse of the word "your / you're" in many places... but that's just a pet-peave of mine. Be it intentional or not - that's just me ;)
But I also agree with Weed.
Let's just all get naked and throw tongues on each other.
Oh - and drink lots of beer.
xx
Johnny learned all that jail poetry when he was locked up.
100!
ah nameless.....you just want everyone to get along! You're the greatest
yeah she is.
Kuff krazy girl i know someone that can help you with you're pet peave...
your saying i am a poet bostick?
well, anyone that has seen my myspace could've figured it out.......
never heard back from you shane... you want me to answer this...
Everything Nice said...
Okay, direct question...
Johnny - How did you know exactly that Psycho baby was Shane in disguise?
be specific.
i haven't seen your my space
sorry, i was taking a piss.
i never thought me asking Johnny that question would cause such a response.
johnny,
i still have a non-sexual crush on you.
huneeb,
i'm looking forward to the day we take our relationship to the next level.
also, i am officially declaring your nickname "watermelons".
the rest of you can fuck off.
would it be my anger issues? or the fact that i've completely lost my fucking mind?
some time today.............
I like shane even though he hates on people in my blogroll
no.. i would say everyone here has those.. anger issues and lost their mind
I'm done with myspace. I hate that fucking place... mainly because of my real-life friend drama there. So I'm killing that too and it will be gone by this weekend.
i haven't hated on anyone in your blogroll.
ahhhhh....wook at da wittle baby...*pinches cheeks*....*gets slapped*
bitch!
I know wook at her aweeeee.
You didnt?! Must be another scumbag out there.
nameless,
how does it feel to be out of the no fucking zone?
if i remember correctly you were in there for a couple of months.
It feels great.
Thanks for asking.
Kuffing the Cure was a nun?
pretty sure bostick, i even doublechecked.
hey, I forgot about that no fucking thing....that was a long time ago right?
Okay to clear things up, I do not hate Menace and I do understand his answer to the question and can completely relate to it on many levels and in numerous situations; I was merely pointing out that it is indeed vague. I appriecate his reply to my point and it is equally noted.
I indeed find a good mind incredibly sexy; I just did not find his answer worthy of that merit. We have all talked about a good word fuck before and how important it really is. It is true that Johnny and I probably see/travel down different paths and that yes I am sure he is at best above average; I don’t think that using big words constitutes or equals intelligence. It is often the opposite, you find that people who practice a larger vocabulary use it such as a façade, not that this is the case with Menace. Some of the grammatical and spelling errors I pointed out were out of mere amusement and irony. I often overlook spelling error completely b/c we are all human and prone to sill typing errors.
Johnny you mentioned that sometimes the answer isn’t for the person who asked the question. Perhaps this is where some of your confusion lies. I speak directly unless otherwise stated and in general expect that person to direct their answer accordingly. Maybe this is my fault.
Nameless that totally irks me as well that and the there, their, they’re mix ups…
i take it hunee b has moved on to a new piece after that response..
here we go again
*squeezes baby cheeks*
so fucking cute
allow me to help you clear...
I went to lunch Johnny.
It only lasted 3 months... it wasn't that long. But now I'm back into the same pit again so we'll see how long this one lasts.
are you guys excited as i am about the baseball season starting on sunday?
i get a hard on just thinking about it.
fuck no. i'm a royals fan.
No Carl.
But I think Tim Hudson is fucking hot.
alright bitches I'm back to work!
I use big words. Because I am a writer and am accustomed to compartmental grammar.
Also because my mother wanted me to be the saving grace patriarch of the family...
I was handed a dictionary at age 4... to color on.
I like to think I am intelligent.
I heart you huneeb and I understand...
but remember as always there are exceptions to every rule.
and every rule is meant to be broken...
*naked nipple twists to hunee
and everything comes full circle.
yes Carl....I am with you on that one.....hard on....tight asses!!
Emma,
I'd like to break some rules with you.
Thoughts?
*sucks on huneeb's breasts then slaps her ass as she leaves room
Psycho Baby,
while the Royal will still suck this year they finally have a good GM and some decent players coming up.
they could definitely use a new stadium.
actually, their stadium is great. they just need to quit being a fucking farm team for the rest of the league.
it could use a couple rennovations though.
and alex gordon will be rookie of the year. you heard it here first.
Clearing it to the point of vanshing... I am merely pointing out that it is not a vague answer.. you say you relate to it on so many levels? .. yet it is vague to you.. or maybe just complex..
.. so you have moved on to the next piece to decide if it is worthy of merit.. and i can assure you i'm not shooting for best above average...
ok.. not keen on the answer... but your getting warmer on the spelling..
yes sometimes the answer isn’t for the person who asked the question... and sometimes the person who ask doesn't even care for an answer.. to put in the general way in which you speak..
how are you doing today?
your confused... i understand.. that's why ask that you move on to the next piece.. but its not your fault.
If you guys get bored - you should stalk my best friend. She's a hottie with big titties and I finally got her to start a blog.
http://hellkatsworld2.blogspot.com/
xx
Johnny, will you please shut the fuck up.
Emma..I need a favor please! The little boy I'm doin is a sagitarius. I wanna know our sexology! please please. Was one of the other males here that same sign??
bo - just put your hands over your ears and when you see my mouth move... like your mom use to tell you when mexican pool boy would come over to skim the pool for 3 hours..
Baseball season gives me a hard on too.
Alex Gordon might. He has an impressive average.We will see.
Washington and Atlanta are both going to do well.
ok... no one into pyshics.. noted.. except.. well of course..
carl i think you really missed a chance their to strike while it was heated..
what the fuck is "pyshics"?
I think there is underlying sexual tension here. Other than that you all are a bunch of gaywads.
"pyshics"
Why don't we all just do it already?
Well... not including psycho baby. Maybe in a few years.
ok.. no on psychics.... and only 2 for physics.. well including me 3..
Please....what do you think daddy uses as a pacifier?
okay....that was fucking sick...sorry
HAHAHA
weed!! jesus christ............
dude....I already said sorry.....but Bo still liked it! I'm bettin Carl laughed too.
I love you weed. Wanna suck me off for free?
nope, been practicing too hard and getting to good to give that shit away for free now....sorry. Should have caught me in my early years.
that was fucking hilarious.. i don't think carl will ever look at shane's baby the same way again...
5 dollars?
Weed,
Why is it that everytime I think of you now, you're always dripping wet??
And is that going to be a problem?
Love,
Some random chick that has no fucking clue what to call herself
xx
i take that back.. he'll probably look at the baby as a pacifier.. forever..
since your still grieving Slater stalker... with sullen's death.. are we seeing the cheery side of you..
go for 20 weed you could taco bell for a week..
You know... one of these names you're throwing out there is going to stick at some point. You're doing a fine job. And it's quite frightening how well you know me. Did you stalk my MySpace before I gutted it??
Actually, I'm in the middle of sullen and cheery at the moment. I'm at the cusp of a revolution, of sorts... so we'll see what the next few months will bring me.
Weed will pay me to suck it
XX.....I am always dripping wet....so no, no problem. You will always be half naked in black in my mind...so hope no issues there. YOu could always be a symbol instead of a name.....like Prince. Girl formerly known as Sullen
how can you be sullen as fuck if your not sullen girl?
good question scummy.... unfortunately, i don't have the answer to that.
Menace?? Your thoughts??
Are we still asking questions?
Heather heather heather heather - at least they get to smack you and slide down... no on the myspace.. you have tendency to mention these things on the meltdown.. coupled with your blogger profile.. and aestichly you ooze the Cure
a few months... so your gathering arms from the russians before your overthrow..
bo - then go for 20 your animal slaves could eat taco bell for a week
weed - so like a venus symbol
Weed I will do that for you sure.
I still say ophelia is a good name for sullen.
and for me.
shane - she doesn't seem sullen to me... only traces... and you would think Sullen would be pleased with her own death... but Vaylan in Kuffs here is a little sullen about Sullen's death.. clearly not a sullen esc..
I will be Ophelia... who's going to be hamlet?
fuck you.
Well alright. I don't remember which act that was in shane...
and I think you make a better 'puck' and they're not even in the same play.
ophelia?... she wants to drown?
in a way she already is..
all becasue she mistook love for cruelness..
honestly i just don't think the bitch could swim
Just popping in and catching up as quickly as I can…
Who said that my point vanished? Perhaps it is just too complicated for you to comprehend. Yes I can relate to it on my different levels and situations and Yes I believe your answer to be completely vague still. Both statements can exist simultaneously and still be true. Please do not insult my intelligence, this mundane subject matter is not too complex for me…rather it is a little boring. Who said I was confused? And I am fabulous today, thank you for asking. What about physics would you like to discuss?
Emma clearly I understand that there are exceptions to this and I completely agree. Many people with larger vocabularies are in fact intelligent and do not fall in the category I spoke about. However I am sure that we all know someone who does. I think that is a wonderful surprise when someone can stimulate my mind to get me thinking on another level. Whether they use an exceptional vocabulary or not, although exhibiting eloquence is refreshing it is not a necessity, it does not equate to a higher IQ.
Nameless and Weed thanks for the twist and the slap, I enjoyed those. ;) Nameless since you are in a sort of revolution phase as of now what about “coup d’etat” achieving major change :)
Carl, you must ask before you do that!
Bo do sheep bite? Does it hurt them when you shave off their wool? I always wondered that…you know when a guy shaves his head sometimes it hurts/pulls if you do it too fast, wonder if it feels the same for them because I’ve seen a sheep get sheered before and they do that shit pretty fast!
Mmm, baseball. They usually have nice legs and asses!
Em, really Ophelia? hmm so is H Hamlet and is he crazy? But he didn’t reject her…and I really don’t want to see Sullen drown herself… then again I guess she is drowning Sullen and is now nameless...but I like the name.
Alright I’m out.
Johnny hahaha never heard that one before...
"honestly i just don't think the bitch could swim"
see shane -- everyone has anger issues and is out of their mind
wait.
huh?
ok... so thesis #3 is in.. that means its my turn again.... bostick.. cover your ears.. mommy is inviting the pool boy over again...
I don't get it....
will somebody fill me in?
HAHA Menace thinks I would waste anger on him...
I like Ophelia!!! O-feel-ya....for sure! We can call her the big O....or O for short
just so you know Johnny it takes a lot more than something as silly as this to make me angry...
Weed NICE! I like O for short :)
Emma....you are not missing anything!
whatever BO....you're angry.....or you wouldn't keep saying your not.
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