It's Almost Time...
for my much anticipated trip to Seattle. for those keeping score at home, i'm flying out of Reagan National on Delta around 2pm with a return flight on monday. i'm hoping there won't be a David Beckham like media bonanza at the Seattle airport but you never know. i'm definitely looking forward to meeting a certain 5'3 sex kitten that we refer to as "Emma". maybe we will get drunk together and prank call all of you retards.
fondlingly,
Carl
fondlingly,
Carl
posted by Carl Spackler at 6:24 PM
59 Comments:
What kind of bullshit is that?
Hey, all, just letting you know that your favorite lurker is okay here in Minneapolis. I didn't fall in the river...but pray to bhudda for Minneapolis...
How many times are you going to change the post Carl? What happened to the suicidal poem you wrote?
Good thing Alie. I texted you like fifty times last night.
Suicidal poem? What the fuck?
What the hell is going on around here? Alie is threatened and Carl is suicidal? It's like a great freakish shakespearian nightmare...
I'm working from home carl, let me know if you need a pick up at the air port.
I'm working from home Johnny, let me know if you need a webcam.
Carl is going to tear that pussy hole up!
Well lets que it up.. in case you need to knock one out before carl gets there... so you'll be relaxed..
can't wait to see all the pictures..
Carl will only get four or five pumps before he yolks.
Where is Shawn? He no longer loves me. :(
I think Carl is trying to leave a trail for the detectives to follow in case she binds him up and leaves him in Puget Sound... seriously.
for serious..
carl what's the flight # so we can follow along at home? .... wait... carl is one of those get to the airport 4 hours ahead of time guys...
I appreciate you all instill such warm, fuzzy thoughts about me.
You're all a bunch of assholes.
Except you Menace, you get pictures and a close up...
so that's why your wearing my favorite white tank top this morning...
Shhh... you'll make the other retards jealous... keep your Tang to yourself Johnny.
We don't want to play favorites.
Listen hot pants.. just pull your hair back.. let me see that neck.. and lets get a full look at you.. all i've seen is waist up so far... ... then we'll talk about Tang
right now he's sweating it out through security - completely perplexed as to whether or not eat a crab cake for fear his cum will taste like one of her ex g/f's.
But he did buy a copy of National Geographic, GQ, and Glamour.
....
Okay. Now... Tang.
for serious..
For serious.
Can somebody tell me why the hype about Carl and I?
Honestly?
tang... where's the swirls and the pan down... and it better be thong or nothing.. because if anything else.. jesus christ hot pants.. then the clothing is hindering your ability to think
ya know... strings and thongs are so much better than full fuckin panties.. only old chicks wear full cut underwear.
I have no idea why the hype - i'm just all about bandwagoning the peer pressure aspect.
Wow Johnny. You uh.. you do.. uh that better than...
wait. did you used to webcam with Murphy? Because If so I'm about to get real jealous up in here!
do people really still webcam? That was so 2004 and all, I thought todays kids just took pictures with their cell phones and fired 'em back and forth.
When I was at the Beyonce concert I sooo got a shot on my phone of her falling on her ass.
murphy?.... who in the hell is that?
but true dat what mesh said about the panties... especially blue ones under some white kaki shorts.. those should come off..
alright.. if you were carl.. and your already at the airport.. what flight time would you take.. somewhere around 1pm-3pm right?... now would he be taking non-stop or layover.... my guess is layover.. carl seems like he would have an issue pissing on a plane
Carl wanted me to say Hi and he is having his first beer.
That was about 10 minutes ago but my fingers were busy.
I have issues pissing on a plane... forehead scraping that slanted ceiling and then always smackin some guy in the forehead when I open the door.
But that's just me.. I have no good grasp on Carl's phobias.
And the fuckin stewardess/gay flight attendants need to stop running over my fuckin feet with the beverage cart! Oh and when I hold up my trash, take it bitch.. don't hold the bag open for me.. touch it! grab my peanuts! pussy's.
Hi Carl!
time
space
it's 1:28...
she still sprawled face down on her webcam?
no... rubbing herself afterwards... you know mursh.... or... you.. you don't know
How nice... you two should start a knitting group of some kind.
Or maybe a book club.
I mean, it's fantastic that you're not only both charting my sexual habits but that you two have such a great rapport with each other.
i can't read!
but I can knit like a motherfucker.
I say a threesome is in order.
charting would require effort.. Johnny has the tenacity for effort.
Personally - your habits are thoooo typical, so whatevah.
But rapport is important when speaking behind the back of an unstable nympho that's helping a guy with his 'i'm scared of moving sidewalks in airports' phobia. Communication is key.
Speaking behind the back of...
well, at least you know where Johnny concentrates best. He's always done his best listening there.
I can read!
but i needle pointer scares the shit out me.. makes me think of wrinkled hands and cats..
its more like whispering... behind the back and breathing.. while waiting for her to stop playing innocent about what to do with the belt...
I never played innocent, I was waiting for you to take control!
btw.. no way i'm getting involved in a threesome.. especially with a guy that's scared to piss on an airplane or one that has fantasys about wrinkled hands and cats... huh uh.
she can't read a cue for shit.
maybe i read it... but im still face down.
you set the standards high.. for threesomes
and the belt.. that was a little.. more on the "oh i don't know what to do with this"... especially the way you held with 2 fingers and your pinky sticking out....
you grinned when i set it down next to us by the chair...
I've increased my standards immensely after visiting here. Visualizing a chick fucking Shawn, with his waxed chest and painted pinky fingernail, made me scared that chicks are just naive.
This in turn has made the potential for threesomes almost impossible, sorta, kinda... well not impossible if it's two hot naive chicks. With decent tits too, and that can dress well enough to go to a Bob Evan's beforehand for a lil mashed potato sex talk.
i apologize for interrupting - but you 2 really don't know what to do with a belt?
k.. it's a fashion accessorie designed to help support pants on people with fat guts or no hips. k? k.
for the sake of fuck.
And then you threw my pants in the book depository, thanks for that.
Bullshit, belts are for much more than that.
thanks for the fashion tips mursh.. i knew that's why we had you replace shane...
Ok and i threw your clothes all in one spot... your welcome... where are mine..?.. who knows because we are still looking...
and Mesh, Im right a lot more than you think.
but not about fashion.. mainly belts..
who deleted my comment! you hater!!!!!!!!!
I'm totally picturing Carl in a diaper paying Emma to shit on his face.
That's only because that's how he rolled when he came to my town.
Spackler wanted me to tell you that he is in cinci right now, his next stop will be Seattle via LA.
God help Seattle...
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