Tao for Carl..... bang that pilot
Carl.. now we all want to save you from the friend zone you have fallen into.... you're obsessed with asians and japanamation .. so what better way to approach this for you to understand than using Tao philosophy
Ok eliminate your desire... don't think about getting laid.. that pilot probably smelled the eagerness on you which is why she told you about working in the morning.. women can sniff out agenda.. you need to eliminate your desire to get laid in order to get laid.. ....ever tell a girl she can't join a club with you..... what does she do.... ask you 100 questions and find out everything and every possible way to join that club... because its unattainable
proving your sexual worthiness... well shit carl... i don't know .... what are you good at...
You went to the bar and met up with her friends because you were in pursuit... but in doing that you showed her that she didn't have to do much to pursue you... in fact she knows she doesn't have to do anything..... Come on carl.. this pilot bitch wants to feel like she caught a lion or bear... make her hunt.... why is she going to pick up your sad puppy dog ass as a charity case... Tattoo this on your dick so you don't forget "Seguimos el que se retira de nosotros"
anyone else with some advice for Carl... feel free to tact on..
- Eliminate your desires.
- Do something excellent in her presence, thereby proving your sexual worthiness.
- Retreat, for as Heidegger said, "We pursue that which retreats from us".
Ok eliminate your desire... don't think about getting laid.. that pilot probably smelled the eagerness on you which is why she told you about working in the morning.. women can sniff out agenda.. you need to eliminate your desire to get laid in order to get laid.. ....ever tell a girl she can't join a club with you..... what does she do.... ask you 100 questions and find out everything and every possible way to join that club... because its unattainable
proving your sexual worthiness... well shit carl... i don't know .... what are you good at...
You went to the bar and met up with her friends because you were in pursuit... but in doing that you showed her that she didn't have to do much to pursue you... in fact she knows she doesn't have to do anything..... Come on carl.. this pilot bitch wants to feel like she caught a lion or bear... make her hunt.... why is she going to pick up your sad puppy dog ass as a charity case... Tattoo this on your dick so you don't forget "Seguimos el que se retira de nosotros"
anyone else with some advice for Carl... feel free to tact on..
posted by Johnny Menace at 12:40 PM
41 Comments:
I want to fuck her.
and you want to steal her outfit?
No i was thinking of something with a hood.
and a basket?.... not something in voluptous vinyl corset featuring sexy scalloped neck and luscious lace up back category?
Depends on where you'll be tearing it...
I mean, I'LL be tearing it.
I mean yes. With a basket.
well aren't there enough places for both are hands to start tearing?
and i think we already know what's in the basket
I thought you would go for teeth before hands.
fingerprints can really muddle a fine shine you know.
and yes. We do. Funny nobody else ever wanted to know.
that's why i thought i would go for the lace... we'll just let the teeth salivate and crave... because we both know its not viynl we want to taste
Menace is a total ladies man.
How does my ass look?
He is isn't he? Pushes all the right buttons. Your ass looks a little thick BOSstick.
And what about your fingers then Menace? do they itch... yet?
Hello Emma you sex kitten..
My fingers itch when I play guitar. I think it is because of the nickel strings I put on.
You know, you're probably right. Nickel strings do that. Or, you've had your fingers in your ass again.
itch.. to push buttons.. do you know of any that need to be pressed?
Bo - you know EN has this ass fetish.. you're really fucking her up jon jon
I want to bite that ass.
i point exactly
I have one that needs to be pressed, sure. In fact, there's a little song I know you may need to sing...
to make sure you keep the direction steady and sure...
how about I sing it to you...
see.. Carl.. We pursue that which retreats from us.. see how bad EN wants that ass..
are you going to sing or hmmmm.. and is this to get my fingers itching or my tongue rolling?
I'm not sure, let's find out.
There's no earthly way of knowing
Which direction we are going
There's no knowing where we're rowing
Or which way the river's flowing
Is it raining, is it snowing
Is a hurricane a-blowing...
Not a speck of light is showing
So the danger must be growing...
You are speechless then? I guess either your fingers itch too badly to type...
orrr your mouth doesn't know what to say?
well if you were to say that.. then my tongue would be rolling... and i would have to reply with something like
j'ai vu leloup le renard etla belette
vielille la danse a mon n'onc charlot
oye yai tous les deux quoe faire...
should i go on... or are you alredy felling a twitch?
nno nnoo ttwitcch. Wwhy woulld you assumme suuch things?
Are you wanting me to grab lipstick perhaps and maybe, oh, write the rest song of that on my creamy skin?
*looks at your hand
because.. well your starting to shake
I can blur it out. nobody has to know it's for you.
... i would prefer i wake up and read it on the bathroom wall.. only will you leave a bread crumb for me to follow..
fait dodans les bras deta maman
Je voudrais avec ma chere...
For you John, I'd make sure my little orange short shorts had pockets...
just to make sure the crumbs fell evenly...
uh
ok
you actually might have to stop that... I'm getting distracted.
would you like a wintergreen life saver johnny?
would you like me to get it from you?
I want you to take it.
well then i better call so we can discuss where i want you to put it...
you still have that phone number in your recently called or should i resend it?
or saved calls.. no need to resend
:) Then yes please. In Japanese if you please.....
I'll be here on my knees.
oh. you're already calling....
*scrolling looking for Carl advice*..
Carl - if you read this.. basically all you're seeing is an easy chick getting turned on by some guy talking in abstract sentences coupled with inside jokes. Obviously this has nothing to do with your pilot or how to become somethin other than just friends.
Christ people - wth kinda friends are ya... selfish self-indulgent bastards. For shame! FOR SHAME!
that and Shawn is going to break up with you 2 again. And this time it's going to be worse than the last 10 times.. I just know it!
*scrolling above
you'll also notice.. some guy pointing out what he thinks is the obvious and calling it abstract because he wants to be part of the inside joke.. Obviously this has nothing to do with your pilot or how to become somethin other than just friends
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