Your Sextrological Horoscope.... fags.

On Sunday I had the gracious pleasure of learning about Sextrology. Which is the pattern and belief that sexually our signs dictate how compatible our libidos are with other signs. Apparently depending who you decide to bang, it gets better or worse per sign combination.

It's all about sex really.

When it comes to new things I admit I can be skeptical... and the "seminar" was not exactly convincing me that the alignment of stars and the astrological universe can dictate our sexual ebbs and flows... Besides that, I was high.

So, I had to buy the book and study up for a future project I am working on. Just happens that all you lovely folk wanted a break-down of what my little book said, so I will give you brief synapses per your astrological signs - as requested.

I broke them down per woman, since there are less women on this blog than men.

WEED "The Gift - The sign of sexual provocation."

Weed/Scumbag - From the start they seem set on different speeds - he's slow; she's swift. At best, they help each other adjust to a more moderate pace. Sexually, she feels snubbed; but he;s dreaming up ways to draw out her desire.

Weed/Bostick - Innovative Gemini's come together fast and furiously. At first, it's a blast - a social, sexual, creative whirlwind - but making a deeper commitment is challenging. He's restless; her disquiet increases.

Weed/Carl - Instant attachment. Codependence could be a pitfall. emotionally bound, sexually rapt. At best, they embody the power or positive thinking. Otherwise, unreality dissolves into disillusionment. Sexual appetites are unwieldy.

Weed/Johnny - Were she goes, he'll follow: Libra is positively passive when compared with the enterprising Gemini. They have something to prove - success is the consequence. Sex is comfortably secondary in their nonstop lifestyle.

Weed/Shawn - He's bewitched - She;s the one who'll alter his perception from dark to light. As time passes, she hopes he'll remain so reliant. Their commitment appears unbreakable. In bed, lavish fantasies are revealed.

SULLEN "The Charm - The sign of sexual equality."

Sullen/Scumbag - Forming a culture club of two, these characters draw up their own design for living. Passionately participating in the worlds of fashion, art or media. Their sex life, through secondary, is equally progressive.

Sullen/Bostick - There's a natural flow - an easy rhythm into which they fall, often forever. If one attempts to take the upper hand, their groove turns into a grind. Creative freedom is crucial. Sexual drama is alien to suck cool characters - it's all about ease.

Sullen/Carl - She's in unknown territory; he's relaxed in the company of suck a cool character. In bed, Libra loosens up, accessing her naughtiest needs. Sag is spellbound: he's scored a sophisticated woman willing to satisfy his every wish.

Sullen/Johnny - They're more aligned than most same sign couples - a shared aesthetic is the center piece of their cliquey companionship. Scales of both sexes push the envelope of experience. Sexually, they're edgy, experimental.

Sullen/Shawn - They disarm each other, an unusual experience since neither is accustomed to surrender. Over time, these zodiacal "neighbors" notice how much they have in common. Sex with laid-back Libra means Scorpio's layers peel away.

EMMA "The Ideal - The sign of sexual response."

Emma/Scumbag - He often keeps his women undercover - not so now. She's a classy piece of arm candy. She exists to create a stable environment in which he might thrive. Life together is haute everything. Only the best will do.

Emma/Bostick - Two extravagant individuals drawn to the promise of glamour the other offers. Life is a whirlwind; their every move is contingent on the current trend. in bed, he likes a quick fix; she favors more drawn-out sessions.

Emma/Carl - Lurking tension requires exploration. She must clear her mind of prior expectations for him, it's time to get real. Another caveat; they might be careful not to constantly contradict each other. Saving grace - Sex is stellar.

Emma/Johnny - They take time to warm up, but then it's hot. Each invests much energy in the others emotional health. In artistic pursuits, this partnership is peerless. Sexually, imaginations are stimulated: Role playing is one ritual.

Emma/Shawn - Illicitness in inherent; they turn on to the taboo of togetherness. In the long run, their love may be a barren landscape in which little grows. But an extraordinary sexual connection keeps them from taking a hike.

HUNEEB "The Vessel - The sign of sexual conduct"

Huneeb/Scumbag - They have a plan; to work as a team, to prosper, to live in relative luxury. They play house, taking traditional roles. Sex is rarely a focus. Surprisingly, in some cases, the marriage is comfortably "open."

Huneeb/Bostick - First impressions are deceiving: He seems perfect; she calls to mind mighty maternal figures from his past. But they're two fickle souls troubling to find a through-line; still, enjoying plot twists along the way. Erotic sex is their asset.

Huneeb/Carl - They born again - a spiritual overtone exists from the start. Still, there's a forbidden element here: She may be much younger or from a distinctly different background. In bed, they're like minded. And full of surprises.

Huneeb/Johnny -Fast friends, but they struggle to reach relationship status. Both can be spoiled. What starts out as liberal may turn into taking liberties. With effort, they fix it. Sexually, she wants to be swept away; he won't work that hard.

Huneeb/Shawn - She's an open book, He's in search of someone to write on. But does he have the whole story? Shes a complex character. Finding middle ground may be difficult. Sexually, he's in control. She's grateful to be guided.

Special Request(s):

Sullen/Virgo - Libra loves to be in love; Virgo is constantly forming crushes. In a partnership, each seeks perfection. Nothing ever seems enough. In bed, Libra is ladylike and Virgo longs for more demonstration, more desire.

Scumbag/Aquarius - Capricorn can be a slutty whore and Aquarius loves to spank him. When not working 6 jobs to occupy each others carnal desire sans birth control - they unite best with a nipple tweak and a donkey punch to the forehead - The combination of these two signs can be volatile in the bedroom at times; since Aquarians eat their mates.

Scumbag's Sextrology reference name is "The Stickler - The sign of sexual decadence."
Bostick's Sextrology reference name is "The Goodfellow - The sign of sexual stimulation."
Carl's Sextrology reference name is "The Visitor - The sign of sexual evolution."
Johnny's Sextology reference name is "The Character - The sign of sexual talent."
Shawn's Sextrology reference name is "The Stranger - The sign of sexual obsession."

The book was $20.. and filled with shit-loads of interesting information. Some rang a little too true. Feel free to buy it, I call it a great investment regardless of whether the shit is true or not.

Oh, and also... Gay pairings available upon request.