Facing forward.... que the spotlights
Midnight has passed... time is up.. only 5 questions in... Bostick i'm disappointed you didn't want to know my favorite animal.. i thought i was your rose damnit.... well in case your wondering .. its not an ostrich..
Hunee B... no moment question.. no why carl has no chance to get in your pants question.. well actually you probably already have those answered..
Weed.. you were hungry and forgot?
white devil... oh.. yeah.. your dead...
Ok so.. lets take a look at the questions that were sent in... I will be answering these honestly and directly as stated in the post.... I hope to have these answered by Friday night or Saturday for all of you.. carl your question alone will take me a day... Everyone's answer will be emailed to you.. remember you cannot share it with anyone else.. and i'll give each one of you a personal reason not to share... then next week.. i'll begin my questions for the 5 participants to answer.. so lets see the questions
Of course we already know Shane's couresty of shawn......
Shane's question
Johnny -
I hop you will anser this emale. I hav wated for the oportunitie to finallee explane what hapend so long agoh. You dont unterstan that I had to brek it off the ol ladee was geyting nervus about thins.
My qestion is... Dos this song stil reminde you of the time we spent twogethere? I heer it and my hert goes all silly. Just want to knowe if you still kare.
Mix you forevere Johnny.
Shane
Lets just remember who gets to sing Oates part motherfucker... very touchy feely.. i figured as much from shane... which leads to shawn..
Shawn's question
Dear Johnny,
Here is my question.
A few months back you and Emma exchanged emails with each other. I don't know if you knew but she shared some of those with me and then told me she wanted to pursue some sort of connection with you.
Emma's term "connection" can mean anything from general conversation over email to flying down there to spend some extra/extended quality time with you. That is, if you aren't married.
She blames me for screwing up whatever "thing" you had and I don't want to be the fucking bad guy here so I'm going to lay down the gloves and just ask you my question like a human being. Not pissed off, no hard feelings, just my question.
I'm trying to figure out how the hell I word this right so you don't squirm out of it.
After watching you and Emma go back and forth for that last whatever months, and the weirdness of it all when you two first started interacting so long ago plus how strange she got when you disappeared to serve your jail time. I find it highly unlikely that you two aren't a couple, at least plutonically but Emma is pretty convincing that you blow her off. I like to believe her. I bet you can prove me wrong in trusting her. I'm asking you to step up and be a man about this now. I won't react, she doesn't even have to know. I'd prefer she not know because she still thinks there' a glimmer of hope that she could some day get your attention. i don't want to blow that dream for her.
What is the real story behind the Johnny and Emma rumors - start with the beginning and finish with the end (present day) in summary with your feelings and intentions towards my friend.
It can be a short paragraph or a long essay but I demand more than one sentence of explanation or it wont count and I wont answer your question. Please be honest so I can handle things on the home front.
Shawn*claps...
Now that is a great question shawn... shit thats long... but very detailed.. i see no way to quirm.. and no reason to either.. and yes i will give you a full explanation... very predictable question though.....
One question that suprised me was Valyna's...
Valyna's question
An honest Menace? There is always something I wanted to know and I think you should share. We're all family here, right? (No, that's NOT the question) We may be a little bit inbred thanks to Scummy, but I think we have the right to know some things.
What do you do for a living and by living I mean your employment and job description?
You know that borderlines Carl being able to stalk me.. but it is such in insightful question into who i am... i think i'll allow it... besides you can't share the answer.. another question i hope doesn't get shared is EN's
EN's question
Johnny, After you are done with your last breadcrumb, where will I find you?
something so short and so direct but will take a long explanation... i'll be sure to answer that the best way i can.. which brings us to carl..... Jesus christ carl....
Carl's Question
dear mr. menace,
if you had the opportunity to revamp this country's political system what changes would you make and why?
for example, would you put a cap on campaign fundraising? would you restructure the voting process so we don't have another debacle like we had in 2000 with the "hanging chads" or my favorite- limiting the power and influence of lobbyists? personally, i would like to assasinate all lobbyists but thats just me.
i'm looking forward to your response,
sincerely
Carl Spackler
President/Founder
Johnny Menace Fan Clubdamn you carl... ............. no.... really........ damn you.... ......... really....... ... really.. politics........ what happend to non sexual man crush or... or ... or thumbs in the ass............ ... jesus carl...... lobbying.... are you fucking kidding me.................. ok... fine....... but i really think this is something in shawn's wheelhouse.. but regardless i'll get you an honest answer.... and why aren't you out promoting T-shirt sales for me?....
Ok so again i hope to get everyone's answers to them over the Easter Weekend... for those of you who didn't email me... sorry... and for those of you who were able to give a little trust by emailing me a question... you won't be disappointed.. in fact i think you'll enjoy it.....
posted by Johnny Menace at 6:44 AM
89 Comments:
"time. I find it highly unlikely that you two aren't a couple, at least plutonically but Emma is pretty convincing that you blow her off. I like to believe her. I bet you can prove me wrong in trusting her. I'm asking you to step up and be a man about this now. I won't react, she doesn't even have to know. I'd prefer she not know because she still thinks there' a glimmer of hope that she could some day get your attention. i don't want to blow that dream for her."
WTF?!?! Wordy much fucker?
Hello big brother, please interview all of my boyfriends and acquaintances, thank you.
Ass.
He said to be as detailed as possible! I was just doing my part to make sure I didn't cut any corners.
No worries Biscuit, it will all be over when Johnny answers the question.
You're fucked Shawn. Something is wrong with you.
"A few months back you and Emma exchanged emails with each other. I don't know if you knew but she shared some of those with me and then told me she wanted to pursue some sort of connection with you...."
What the fuck is this shit?
Connection.
I'm a sociopath exercizing my numbers.
Get over yourself and let me lie just a little! I bet he got a hard on just thinking of you trying to connect with him.
Fuck Texas!
I hate you. Thanks for making ME look like an asshole - AGAIN!
Shawn - even though you have fucked up nipples.. it's times like these that I truly appreciate you.. dare I say you're a conniving funny mother fucker
that is prolly the last time you'll hear that.
EN - defensive much? *snicker*
I live to make you happy E.
Thanks Mesh! I'd give you knuckles or some shit like that... fag.
Mesh - Disappointed.
But, as always Shawn and I play this game with each other.... back and forth... he knows what's coming to him :)
The ball is now in my court and that, makes me smile.
Now Shawn.... What to do about your question....
And it only goes to show you that Shawn obviously knew what he was doing when he wrote that cause he knew it would be published!
*pats self on back
See now you're just getting me all hot and bothered. That's just manipulative enough to make me want to bang you in the Toys R Us parking lot.
I'm almost proud of you son, some day you will be a man.
Morning all... :)
and I did not ask that question... Menace
as i mentioned.. 'conniving'..
poor poor EN
haven't his balls always been in your court? did they ever leave?
I love Toys are Us...
hahaha Good one Mesh, I think you are right on that one..
She may have had just one ball up until the point where the fucker FELL ASLEEP to a naked Emma and lesbian porn, that was the two ball turning point I think...
course Shawn has always been sort of a pussy..
he fell asleep on her?! NO WAY! *visualize shock and horror ridden face here*
HEY! Fuck you guys I was tired! That couch was comfortable as fuck!!
whatever dude
Wow Mesh! That was the greatest insult ever.
Wish I had thought of it.
Today is pick on Emma day! I wore my favorite shirt!
I don't want to pick on Emma...
What color is your favorite shirt? :)
*scrolling for insult*.. color me confused after the shocked face - lemme guess though.. the couch was leather? or you just drank too much?
ya know... Carl's question is solid - pointless.. but solid
Why not pick on Emma? Looks like Mesh and I could go all day long.
Mesh. U.complete.me.
Huneeb - It is black and fitted and says "Jesus loved you very much."
Shawn while I am sure you would enjoy it I don't think mesh wants you sucking on his cock all day until your outbreak is calmed down at least... thanks for faggin up the place
lmao I love it Em! ha
hey now - i'm friggin innocent! dragging me in on this.. bastard
so seriously.. was she whimpering about getting emails and i'm sorry you had to comfort her during those times - women get so needy .. but you're a good man/boy/fag for helping her out in her *sigh* desperate times
great.. now i find out about his outbreak.. you fucker
good morning everyone.
emma,
i'm not going to pick on you.
huneeb,
lastnight was fantastic. are you a little sore? also, do you have my cock ring?
Mesh always question a man who insists on turning the lights out...
Carl it's in your back pocket, do you want your tshirt back or can I keep it?
spoken like a true cumslut tramp huneeb.. gawd luv ya
Mesh you callin me a cumslut tramp?
for future referance it's "dirty little whore" to you.
Huneeb - It looked akward after surgery, it's not my fault!
Mesh - I just block it all out really. Just block it all out.
I too liked Carls question.
I wonder if Johnny would let me send him another question? Hmmm...
about something sticky sweet.
Shawn haha that's funny. Sorry but it is...
you know sadly I think I lost my innocence somewhere between the The Bubblegum Meltdown and HP... Emma wanna help me find it again?
Hmmmm. You know, I remember whining about his lack of attention to those emails when we were doing the Scumbag 08 campaign.
huneeb,
keep it. i like seeing you in my T-Shirts.
huh oh.. don't do it EN stop mentally torturing poor Shawn - he's going to tell his mom
Yes, I too am on that journey. One of innocence. I'm done with being a cocksucking dirty aids infested whore.
he's only gonna tell him mom cause he wants her to coddle him and serve him another hot pocket. Don't let him fool you he may be retarded but he's a sneaky motherfucker.
In fact a journey such as that requires full undivided attention.
No no mesh. His mother is a retard... she couldn't ever understand anything I tell her actually. Didn't you read that whole story about Johnny's blind date?
Now that... THAT was fantastic.
i received an Easter Card from my mom yesterday
it read:
"There are so many wonderful things to thank God for, and a son like you is definitely one of them!
With love and Happy Easter"
XXX's OOO's
Mom
good then Emma we can braid each other's pig tails and sing koom bai ah and make smores
Leave my mother out of this.
ahh Carl
I think I just threw up a little in my mouth....
What question did you ask Huneeb?
Mothers suck.
But YAY! for titties, beer and Fridays!!!
xx
I asked for an extension, like on taxes... I've been a busy bee
i have no idea about J's blind date - or that his mom was a retard.. Shawns that is -
is this a journed of innocence that one has to embark on alone - or can a group come together to solidify a moment of enlightenment?
sidenote: Peeps are scary - but when used as buttplugs look hilarious
Damn it Carl stop stealing my undies, those fuckers are expensive!
Mesh as a butt plug? hmm wouldn't they carmelize? Oh and you gotta read about that blind date.. it was good. Link anyone? (yeah I am a lazy fucker today)
Val - do you wear that facepaint crap to bed? and if so does your face glow in the dark?
carmelize? jeezus Hunnee.. how much sweat you got sloppin around between your ass cheeks? ick! cumslut tramp
my ass is fresh and clean :) it's still virgin, ha. I was thinking more of Shawn's hairy ass... and damn it I am not a cumslut tramp, I don't get that brownie badge for two more months.
I'd be more than happy to provide that link:
http://thapaddywagon.blogspot.com/2006/11/blind-date-shelly-part-i_20.html
ohwait.
http://thapaddywagon.blogspot.com/2006/11/
blind-date-shelly-part-i_20.html
knew you'd follow thru, Thanks Em you rock
part 2:
http://thapaddywagon.blogspot.com/2006/11/
blind-date-shelly-part-ii_21.html
And part 3!
http://thapaddywagon.blogspot.com/2006/11/
blind-date-shelly-part-iii.html
Fuck that fucking stupid ass story.
SHHHHHHHH Shawn, I'm reading!
**starts to pet the butter shaped like a swan
Thanks for the recap :) That's such a great story to read again :)
i don't think i'm any better off after reading that story... but thanks for sharing!
for the record: Shawn - your mom seems very nice and has a way with words. That and I like a chick that can hold her liquor. I'm glad that maybe someday you and Johnny might be kin and really put the term 'family' to good use on this lil blog.
listen people...i get first dibs on Huneebs ass so get in back of the line.
nancy pelosi has huge tits
i hate nancy pelosi.
hahaha you do Carl? says who? Don't I get to make that decision? If I am going to become a full on cumslut tramp I want to make it worth it and frankly I don't think you could keep up...
Thoughts?
K V I have a new post just cause I don't want you to go thru two withdrawls, *BITE
ha ha I'm fiesty now... got lots of coffee in me :)
I'd like to get something in me....
i can comfortably seat 2.. just sayin
i'd glady fill all of you ladies with my love juices.
This whole qestion thing is boring...Bos I want to see what part two looks like :) post soon!
thanks Huneeb. I have been installing a sound system in my pick up all morning.
Words are for nerds.
Johnny, I dont have a question yet.
can i just say that i'm fuckin sick of chicks with no originality when it comes to cars/vans/trucks
obvious chick mobiles:
VW Jetta
Honda Accord
Honda CR-V
Chrysler Sebring
Ford Ranger (for those outdoorsy type typically teal green)
VW Cabriolet
VW Beetle
Jeep Liberty
Subaru Forester
Mazda Miata
Hummer H2 (pussy's)
Toyota Celica
Ford Escort Wagon
Toyota Rav-4
Hyundai Elantra
BMW 3 series.. pussy's by a 5 series at least
Jaguar - any jaguar they suck ass
Minivan - any
Scion - fuckin Emo's or chicks only car
fuckin chicks at lunch can't drive for shit and all have flower lei's around their rearview mirror.. idiots
sweet I've never owned any of those! Mash you sound a little sxually frustrated or bitter perhaps?
I've never owned any of those either.
And lei's are gay.
But getting laid, is not.
ya know hunee.. ya may be right.. see.. you ppl enlighten me constantly
anytime Mesh. :)
I don't own any of those either.
Do I still count as a "chick"?
Oh, and anything Subaru automatically falls under the definition "lesbian"
thank you.
so your friends predominantly drive Subaru's.. noted.
all ya'll count as 'chicks' .. that will never change.. a few explatives may be added but the root remains
unlike your hair color... or my hair
sidenote: trim you pubes
Who are you talking to?
I've been bare since about April of last year....
I haven't seen my pubes in months, I was hoping somebody would help me with that.
Thanks for caring though.
Can I post over this crap yet?
Menace -
I got your email. Thank you for answering my question so honestly... AND thoroughly. I really didn't need your bathroom schedule at work as well, but I do appreciate that knowledge ;) j/k
But in all seriousness, I appreciate you being honest in your response to me. I admit, I thought you were talking bullshit - but you stuck to your word!
Happy Friday :)
all emails have been answered..
and now i'm headed off to put on my bunny mask.. and enjoy the easter weekend... with.. jesus wine..
Post a Comment
<< Home