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Friday, April 06, 2007

Facing forward.... que the spotlights

Midnight has passed... time is up.. only 5 questions in...

Bostick
i'm disappointed you didn't want to know my favorite animal.. i thought i was your rose damnit.... well in case your wondering .. its not an ostrich..


Hunee B...
no moment question.. no why carl has no chance to get in your pants question.. well actually you probably already have those answered..


Weed..
you were hungry and forgot?


white devil..
. oh.. yeah.. your dead...



Ok so.. lets take a look at the questions that were sent in... I will be answering these honestly and directly as stated in the post.... I hope to have these answered by Friday night or Saturday for all of you.. carl your question alone will take me a day... Everyone's answer will be emailed to you.. remember you cannot share it with anyone else.. and i'll give each one of you a personal reason not to share... then next week.. i'll begin my questions for the 5 participants to answer.. so lets see the questions

Of course we already know Shane's couresty of shawn......



Shane's question


Johnny -

I hop you will anser this emale. I hav wated for the oportunitie to finallee explane what hapend so long agoh. You dont unterstan that I had to brek it off the ol ladee was geyting nervus about thins.

My qestion is... Dos this song stil reminde you of the time we spent twogethere? I heer it and my hert goes all silly. Just want to knowe if you still kare.

Mix you forevere Johnny.

Shane


Lets just remember who gets to sing Oates part motherfucker... very touchy feely.. i figured as much from shane... which leads to shawn..


Shawn's question



Dear Johnny,

Here is my question.
A few months back you and Emma exchanged emails with each other. I don't know if you knew but she shared some of those with me and then told me she wanted to pursue some sort of connection with you.
Emma's term "connection" can mean anything from general conversation over email to flying down there to spend some extra/extended quality time with you. That is, if you aren't married.
She blames me for screwing up whatever "thing" you had and I don't want to be the fucking bad guy here so I'm going to lay down the gloves and just ask you my question like a human being. Not pissed off, no hard feelings, just my question.

I'm trying to figure out how the hell I word this right so you don't squirm out of it.

After watching you and Emma go back and forth for that last whatever months, and the weirdness of it all when you two first started interacting so long ago plus how strange she got when you disappeared to serve your jail time. I find it highly unlikely that you two aren't a couple, at least plutonically but Emma is pretty convincing that you blow her off. I like to believe her. I bet you can prove me wrong in trusting her. I'm asking you to step up and be a man about this now. I won't react, she doesn't even have to know. I'd prefer she not know because she still thinks there' a glimmer of hope that she could some day get your attention. i don't want to blow that dream for her.

What is the real story behind the Johnny and Emma rumors - start with the beginning and finish with the end (present day) in summary with your feelings and intentions towards my friend.

It can be a short paragraph or a long essay but I demand more than one sentence of explanation or it wont count and I wont answer your question. Please be honest so I can handle things on the home front.

Shawn


*claps...
Now that is a great question shawn... shit thats long... but very detailed.. i see no way to quirm.. and no reason to either.. and yes i will give you a full explanation... very predictable question though.....

One question that suprised me was Valyna's...


Valyna's question


An honest Menace? There is always something I wanted to know and I think you should share. We're all family here, right? (No, that's NOT the question) We may be a little bit inbred thanks to Scummy, but I think we have the right to know some things.


What do you do for a living and by living I mean your employment and job description?



You know that borderlines Carl being able to stalk me.. but it is such in insightful question into who i am... i think i'll allow it... besides you can't share the answer.. another question i hope doesn't get shared is EN's

EN's question


Johnny, After you are done with your last breadcrumb, where will I find you?


something so short and so direct but will take a long explanation... i'll be sure to answer that the best way i can.. which brings us to carl..... Jesus christ carl....


Carl's Question



dear mr. menace,

if you had the opportunity to revamp this country's political system what changes would you make and why?
for example, would you put a cap on campaign fundraising? would you restructure the voting process so we don't have another debacle like we had in 2000 with the "hanging chads" or my favorite- limiting the power and influence of lobbyists? personally, i would like to assasinate all lobbyists but thats just me.

i'm looking forward to your response,

sincerely

Carl Spackler
President/Founder
Johnny Menace Fan Club


damn you carl... ............. no.... really........ damn you.... ......... really....... ... really.. politics........ what happend to non sexual man crush or... or ... or thumbs in the ass............ ... jesus carl...... lobbying.... are you fucking kidding me.................. ok... fine....... but i really think this is something in shawn's wheelhouse.. but regardless i'll get you an honest answer.... and why aren't you out promoting T-shirt sales for me?....

Ok so again i hope to get everyone's answers to them over the Easter Weekend... for those of you who didn't email me... sorry... and for those of you who were able to give a little trust by emailing me a question... you won't be disappointed.. in fact i think you'll enjoy it.....

89 Comments:

Blogger Everything Nice said...

"time. I find it highly unlikely that you two aren't a couple, at least plutonically but Emma is pretty convincing that you blow her off. I like to believe her. I bet you can prove me wrong in trusting her. I'm asking you to step up and be a man about this now. I won't react, she doesn't even have to know. I'd prefer she not know because she still thinks there' a glimmer of hope that she could some day get your attention. i don't want to blow that dream for her."

WTF?!?! Wordy much fucker?

Hello big brother, please interview all of my boyfriends and acquaintances, thank you.

Ass.

7:04 AM  
Blogger Editor Shawn said...

He said to be as detailed as possible! I was just doing my part to make sure I didn't cut any corners.

No worries Biscuit, it will all be over when Johnny answers the question.

7:08 AM  
Blogger Everything Nice said...

You're fucked Shawn. Something is wrong with you.

"A few months back you and Emma exchanged emails with each other. I don't know if you knew but she shared some of those with me and then told me she wanted to pursue some sort of connection with you...."

What the fuck is this shit?

Connection.

7:10 AM  
Blogger Editor Shawn said...

I'm a sociopath exercizing my numbers.

Get over yourself and let me lie just a little! I bet he got a hard on just thinking of you trying to connect with him.

Fuck Texas!

7:13 AM  
Blogger Everything Nice said...

I hate you. Thanks for making ME look like an asshole - AGAIN!

7:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Shawn - even though you have fucked up nipples.. it's times like these that I truly appreciate you.. dare I say you're a conniving funny mother fucker

that is prolly the last time you'll hear that.

EN - defensive much? *snicker*

7:16 AM  
Blogger Editor Shawn said...

I live to make you happy E.

7:16 AM  
Blogger Editor Shawn said...

Thanks Mesh! I'd give you knuckles or some shit like that... fag.

7:20 AM  
Blogger Everything Nice said...

Mesh - Disappointed.

But, as always Shawn and I play this game with each other.... back and forth... he knows what's coming to him :)

The ball is now in my court and that, makes me smile.

Now Shawn.... What to do about your question....

7:21 AM  
Blogger Everything Nice said...

And it only goes to show you that Shawn obviously knew what he was doing when he wrote that cause he knew it would be published!

7:22 AM  
Blogger Editor Shawn said...

*pats self on back

7:25 AM  
Blogger Everything Nice said...

See now you're just getting me all hot and bothered. That's just manipulative enough to make me want to bang you in the Toys R Us parking lot.

I'm almost proud of you son, some day you will be a man.

7:26 AM  
Blogger HuneeB said...

Morning all... :)

and I did not ask that question... Menace

7:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

as i mentioned.. 'conniving'..

poor poor EN

haven't his balls always been in your court? did they ever leave?

7:28 AM  
Blogger HuneeB said...

I love Toys are Us...

7:28 AM  
Blogger HuneeB said...

hahaha Good one Mesh, I think you are right on that one..

She may have had just one ball up until the point where the fucker FELL ASLEEP to a naked Emma and lesbian porn, that was the two ball turning point I think...

course Shawn has always been sort of a pussy..

7:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

he fell asleep on her?! NO WAY! *visualize shock and horror ridden face here*

7:32 AM  
Blogger Editor Shawn said...

HEY! Fuck you guys I was tired! That couch was comfortable as fuck!!

7:33 AM  
Blogger HuneeB said...

whatever dude

7:33 AM  
Blogger Editor Shawn said...

Wow Mesh! That was the greatest insult ever.

Wish I had thought of it.

7:34 AM  
Blogger Everything Nice said...

Today is pick on Emma day! I wore my favorite shirt!

7:36 AM  
Blogger HuneeB said...

I don't want to pick on Emma...

What color is your favorite shirt? :)

7:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

*scrolling for insult*.. color me confused after the shocked face - lemme guess though.. the couch was leather? or you just drank too much?

ya know... Carl's question is solid - pointless.. but solid

7:37 AM  
Blogger Editor Shawn said...

Why not pick on Emma? Looks like Mesh and I could go all day long.

7:38 AM  
Blogger Everything Nice said...

Mesh. U.complete.me.

Huneeb - It is black and fitted and says "Jesus loved you very much."

7:40 AM  
Blogger HuneeB said...

Shawn while I am sure you would enjoy it I don't think mesh wants you sucking on his cock all day until your outbreak is calmed down at least... thanks for faggin up the place

7:40 AM  
Blogger HuneeB said...

lmao I love it Em! ha

7:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey now - i'm friggin innocent! dragging me in on this.. bastard

so seriously.. was she whimpering about getting emails and i'm sorry you had to comfort her during those times - women get so needy .. but you're a good man/boy/fag for helping her out in her *sigh* desperate times

7:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

great.. now i find out about his outbreak.. you fucker

7:42 AM  
Blogger Carl Spackler said...

good morning everyone.

emma,
i'm not going to pick on you.

huneeb,
lastnight was fantastic. are you a little sore? also, do you have my cock ring?

7:42 AM  
Blogger HuneeB said...

Mesh always question a man who insists on turning the lights out...

7:42 AM  
Blogger HuneeB said...

Carl it's in your back pocket, do you want your tshirt back or can I keep it?

7:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

spoken like a true cumslut tramp huneeb.. gawd luv ya

7:44 AM  
Blogger HuneeB said...

Mesh you callin me a cumslut tramp?

for future referance it's "dirty little whore" to you.

7:45 AM  
Blogger Editor Shawn said...

Huneeb - It looked akward after surgery, it's not my fault!

Mesh - I just block it all out really. Just block it all out.

I too liked Carls question.

7:45 AM  
Blogger Everything Nice said...

I wonder if Johnny would let me send him another question? Hmmm...

7:46 AM  
Blogger Everything Nice said...

about something sticky sweet.

7:46 AM  
Blogger HuneeB said...

Shawn haha that's funny. Sorry but it is...


you know sadly I think I lost my innocence somewhere between the The Bubblegum Meltdown and HP... Emma wanna help me find it again?

7:47 AM  
Blogger Everything Nice said...

Hmmmm. You know, I remember whining about his lack of attention to those emails when we were doing the Scumbag 08 campaign.

7:47 AM  
Blogger Carl Spackler said...

huneeb,

keep it. i like seeing you in my T-Shirts.

7:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

huh oh.. don't do it EN stop mentally torturing poor Shawn - he's going to tell his mom

7:48 AM  
Blogger Everything Nice said...

Yes, I too am on that journey. One of innocence. I'm done with being a cocksucking dirty aids infested whore.

7:48 AM  
Blogger HuneeB said...

he's only gonna tell him mom cause he wants her to coddle him and serve him another hot pocket. Don't let him fool you he may be retarded but he's a sneaky motherfucker.

7:49 AM  
Blogger Everything Nice said...

In fact a journey such as that requires full undivided attention.

No no mesh. His mother is a retard... she couldn't ever understand anything I tell her actually. Didn't you read that whole story about Johnny's blind date?

Now that... THAT was fantastic.

7:51 AM  
Blogger Carl Spackler said...

i received an Easter Card from my mom yesterday

it read:

"There are so many wonderful things to thank God for, and a son like you is definitely one of them!

With love and Happy Easter"

XXX's OOO's

Mom

7:51 AM  
Blogger HuneeB said...

good then Emma we can braid each other's pig tails and sing koom bai ah and make smores

7:51 AM  
Blogger Editor Shawn said...

Leave my mother out of this.

7:51 AM  
Blogger HuneeB said...

ahh Carl

7:52 AM  
Blogger Everything Nice said...

I think I just threw up a little in my mouth....

What question did you ask Huneeb?

7:54 AM  
Blogger BirdMadGirl said...

Mothers suck.

But YAY! for titties, beer and Fridays!!!

xx

7:55 AM  
Blogger HuneeB said...

I asked for an extension, like on taxes... I've been a busy bee

7:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i have no idea about J's blind date - or that his mom was a retard.. Shawns that is -

is this a journed of innocence that one has to embark on alone - or can a group come together to solidify a moment of enlightenment?

sidenote: Peeps are scary - but when used as buttplugs look hilarious

7:56 AM  
Blogger HuneeB said...

Damn it Carl stop stealing my undies, those fuckers are expensive!

7:56 AM  
Blogger HuneeB said...

Mesh as a butt plug? hmm wouldn't they carmelize? Oh and you gotta read about that blind date.. it was good. Link anyone? (yeah I am a lazy fucker today)

7:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Val - do you wear that facepaint crap to bed? and if so does your face glow in the dark?

7:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

carmelize? jeezus Hunnee.. how much sweat you got sloppin around between your ass cheeks? ick! cumslut tramp

7:59 AM  
Blogger HuneeB said...

my ass is fresh and clean :) it's still virgin, ha. I was thinking more of Shawn's hairy ass... and damn it I am not a cumslut tramp, I don't get that brownie badge for two more months.

8:00 AM  
Blogger Everything Nice said...

I'd be more than happy to provide that link:

http://thapaddywagon.blogspot.com/2006/11/blind-date-shelly-part-i_20.html

8:01 AM  
Blogger Everything Nice said...

ohwait.

http://thapaddywagon.blogspot.com/2006/11/
blind-date-shelly-part-i_20.html

8:01 AM  
Blogger HuneeB said...

knew you'd follow thru, Thanks Em you rock

8:01 AM  
Blogger Everything Nice said...

part 2:


http://thapaddywagon.blogspot.com/2006/11/
blind-date-shelly-part-ii_21.html

8:03 AM  
Blogger Everything Nice said...

And part 3!

http://thapaddywagon.blogspot.com/2006/11/
blind-date-shelly-part-iii.html

8:04 AM  
Blogger Editor Shawn said...

Fuck that fucking stupid ass story.

8:14 AM  
Blogger Everything Nice said...

SHHHHHHHH Shawn, I'm reading!

**starts to pet the butter shaped like a swan

8:16 AM  
Blogger BirdMadGirl said...

Thanks for the recap :) That's such a great story to read again :)

8:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i don't think i'm any better off after reading that story... but thanks for sharing!

for the record: Shawn - your mom seems very nice and has a way with words. That and I like a chick that can hold her liquor. I'm glad that maybe someday you and Johnny might be kin and really put the term 'family' to good use on this lil blog.

8:24 AM  
Blogger Carl Spackler said...

listen people...i get first dibs on Huneebs ass so get in back of the line.

8:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

nancy pelosi has huge tits

8:30 AM  
Blogger Carl Spackler said...

i hate nancy pelosi.

8:37 AM  
Blogger HuneeB said...

hahaha you do Carl? says who? Don't I get to make that decision? If I am going to become a full on cumslut tramp I want to make it worth it and frankly I don't think you could keep up...

Thoughts?

8:59 AM  
Blogger HuneeB said...

K V I have a new post just cause I don't want you to go thru two withdrawls, *BITE

ha ha I'm fiesty now... got lots of coffee in me :)

9:36 AM  
Blogger Everything Nice said...

I'd like to get something in me....

9:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i can comfortably seat 2.. just sayin

10:08 AM  
Blogger Carl Spackler said...

i'd glady fill all of you ladies with my love juices.

10:29 AM  
Blogger HuneeB said...

This whole qestion thing is boring...Bos I want to see what part two looks like :) post soon!

11:15 AM  
Blogger JBoombostick said...

thanks Huneeb. I have been installing a sound system in my pick up all morning.

Words are for nerds.

Johnny, I dont have a question yet.

11:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

can i just say that i'm fuckin sick of chicks with no originality when it comes to cars/vans/trucks

obvious chick mobiles:
VW Jetta
Honda Accord
Honda CR-V
Chrysler Sebring
Ford Ranger (for those outdoorsy type typically teal green)
VW Cabriolet
VW Beetle
Jeep Liberty
Subaru Forester
Mazda Miata
Hummer H2 (pussy's)
Toyota Celica
Ford Escort Wagon
Toyota Rav-4
Hyundai Elantra
BMW 3 series.. pussy's by a 5 series at least
Jaguar - any jaguar they suck ass
Minivan - any
Scion - fuckin Emo's or chicks only car

fuckin chicks at lunch can't drive for shit and all have flower lei's around their rearview mirror.. idiots

11:31 AM  
Blogger HuneeB said...

sweet I've never owned any of those! Mash you sound a little sxually frustrated or bitter perhaps?

11:37 AM  
Blogger BirdMadGirl said...

I've never owned any of those either.

And lei's are gay.

But getting laid, is not.

11:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ya know hunee.. ya may be right.. see.. you ppl enlighten me constantly

11:44 AM  
Blogger HuneeB said...

anytime Mesh. :)

12:06 PM  
Blogger Everything Nice said...

I don't own any of those either.

Do I still count as a "chick"?

12:37 PM  
Blogger Everything Nice said...

Oh, and anything Subaru automatically falls under the definition "lesbian"

thank you.

12:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

so your friends predominantly drive Subaru's.. noted.

all ya'll count as 'chicks' .. that will never change.. a few explatives may be added but the root remains

unlike your hair color... or my hair

sidenote: trim you pubes

1:02 PM  
Blogger Everything Nice said...

Who are you talking to?


I've been bare since about April of last year....

I haven't seen my pubes in months, I was hoping somebody would help me with that.

Thanks for caring though.

1:20 PM  
Blogger JBoombostick said...

Can I post over this crap yet?

1:26 PM  
Blogger BirdMadGirl said...

Menace -

I got your email. Thank you for answering my question so honestly... AND thoroughly. I really didn't need your bathroom schedule at work as well, but I do appreciate that knowledge ;) j/k

But in all seriousness, I appreciate you being honest in your response to me. I admit, I thought you were talking bullshit - but you stuck to your word!

Happy Friday :)

3:33 PM  
Blogger Johnny Menace said...

all emails have been answered..

4:08 PM  
Blogger Johnny Menace said...

and now i'm headed off to put on my bunny mask.. and enjoy the easter weekend... with.. jesus wine..

4:10 PM  

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