UGHHHHHHH PORN UGHHHHHHH

This is some porn I was wackin it to about five minutes ago. I hope you get off on it like I did UGHHHHHHH

Belated Birthday Kisses

Bostick,

I'm sorry I missed your birthday dude.You know I totally like it up the ass and I wanted to send you a gift to tell you how much I appreciate your friendship but I didn't have enough time to throw your gift package together.

I know you're anxious to get it and I am sending it today, but I thought I would tell you what you'll be receiving in case you need to stock up on accessories... Like popcorn, or extra strength lubricant.

My gay lover #8 will only let me suck his cock on every other day and that is something that really gets on my nerves. I want a cock in my mouth every day.

First thing, remember that one time you told me about that vinyl? The one that you couldn't find anywhere?!? Well, I found it. I will make sure I pack it well so it doesn't break in transit.


Second thing, the number #2 thuper thpecial edition of "Gay Comix". This is the one where Uncle Sammy takes little TJ into the sauna room and tells him about his real dad... Oh, shit, shouldn't have thrown in that spoiler huh? I know you'll like the illustrations.

Third item, A large print to hang in your bedroom to fill that space above your bed where the Lance Bass poster used to hang. I hope it's big enough to hide the thumbtack holes. You might have to do a little patching.


Fourth, a movie. I would love to come and watch it with you and all but I'm shy as fuck. I mean, you're an attractive guyand I get off on the way you comb your hair and I admit there's been a mancrush once or twice on you. But shit... I'm not letting you cop a feel unless you put extra butter on that popcorn for me.


Fifth, the phone numbers of these two girlie men I ran into at the Gay pride festival. I was carrying your print home when they stopped to admire it and before I know it I'm explaining to them about how there's this queer down in the South that's really fanTAStic! I showed them the picture I carry around of you in my thong and they want to come visit. No worries, I have the flight paid for, you just say when.

Sixth, an Autographed self-help book for your wife and kids. I think Becky would get more use out of this then you would. It came with a free strap-on but Emma stole it before I had a chance to pack it.

And lastly, a little Asian Porn because every man should get some action on his birthday. I figured this would help you get in the mood and I know you love bananas. I know you might be disappointed in my choice, but I tried to find that one from the youtube clip you sent but apparently they don't do that shit with eggplants overseas.

So there you go bud. Happy Birthday. I hope you enjoy your gift box and you can thank me when we meet in San Fran with Johnny Menace to do the Polar Bear Club get-together. Bring that porn if you can, and that other movie. Oh, and maybe the number for those two guys I send so Menace can have a turn.

Okay gotta go the cum is starting to leak out of my asshole.

Love and Kisses to my favorite faggot,

Editor Shawn

fuck

Why does everybody down here look like wrinkled fruit leather?

Why do I suddenly feel like the twice removed mafia daughter of some distance butcher with a prison record, a pound of bacon, and a bagel shop every time I walk into the delicatessen to buy a bagel?

Why is everything so fucking cheap here?

Why is the sand nicer?

Why isn't Bostick here yet. If he stands me up I'll be PISSED and never talk to him ever again... never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever.

well maybe. but prolly not.


I have all sorts of fantastic questions.... more soon... I'm going to swim up the coast now.

Today is my birthday but not yours!

First, I am going to do is this!


And This!


Then I am going to smoke some crack and some pot, in that order!

Then I am going to make sweet love to this hot woman!



Then I am going to do a little body painting!

Then I am going to crank off to a little porn!

I hope you have a nice day on my birthday too!

A dedication

You shouldn't have to look up the lyrics... but feel free....

Something for Scumbag

Since most of you liked my transcript at the Paddy Wagon so much, I decided to make a little something for Scumbag.

Because I miss his stupid ass around here.... and his daughters are cuter 'an shit.

(edit)

Thank you Bostick for the Admin rights and thank you Valyna for the compliment and the body butter visual. I just want everybody to be aware that I just fucked myself on the bedroom floor and I'll probably do it again before the night is over.

I really dig carpet burn on my cheeks. Gives me that 'rosy' healthy glow in the face.

Also... Shawn, I made a phone call. I know how you like to be nosy about these things so I decided to share it with you.... You can find the full transcript at the Paddy Wagon.

yes. I got your BFF's permission before I posted. He sends your mother his love...

http://thapaddywagon.blogspot.com

DANG!

You. Complete. Me.

I think there's been a huge misunderstanding here... And when I say mis-understanding I mean that perhaps we're so ready to pummel Shawn's ass with a traffic pylon that we're not stopping to understand WHY Shawn does the assholish things he does.

Well I've thought about it. I think that Shawn thinks I don't care.

:( awwww.

Well, I do care Shawn, I care a lot.
I care that you were brought up in a beat-down shack somewhere south of hick hell, had no decent clothes for school and went without school lunches most days.

I care that you were picked on because you wore THOSE glasses.

I care that your dad kicked the shit out of your mother... And that your mother whored herself to steal you away to the Pacific Northwest in the middle of the night where you and your sister could be safe from mid-night fondling sessions courtesy of your uncle.

I also care that your mother cleans hotel rooms for a living... and she's white.

I care that you lived at home until you got married, and still are dealing with your (detachment) Oedipus complex to this day when you visit her every evening.

I care that you loved a Real Doll for a good years worth of time and that you bathed her tenderly in the bathtub when she was "used".

I care that you have erectile dysfunction.

I care that you have mild brain damage and have difficulty with your cognitive response.

I care that you are married to a wonderful woman who has no idea you have a child waiting for "daddy" to come visit somewhere in mid-America.

I care that your wife likes it when I eat her pussy in the back of your new car.

I care that she squeals and curls her toes and tells me she's glad she's bi and we're the best of girlfriends.

Lastly, I care that you are so into me that you have to attack any man that shows interest in me other than how "neat" I move.

I care that you've been the only person in the entire planet that I have actually considered sleeping with and have not.

I care that you think that I think it's okay for you be such an asshole but it's an illness you can't control.

I care a lot, Shawn. I do.

You're my buddy... Like a little brother... the little retarded brother that finally learned how to use the fork.

I don't want to be angry.... I want to give you a big hug. Because I understand all of the above makes you the person you are today. The angry, bitter, sad sad man that is you....

To show you how very much I feel for you and how neat I think it is that even after you gang-banged my email boxes yesterday.... I decided to dedicate a song to you to show you just how I feel.... still....

Cause buddy, I just can't put it in words.

Can he edit his way out of this one?

Shawn - First, you hack into her Email which is illegal by the way.
Second, you steal her private property only to post it and rub it in her face like some sicko.
THEN, you tell me she will laugh about it and its all good rip on it.
I will have to say, that is the lowest, LOWEST thing ever posted on this blog.
Even worse than calling Tumbleweed 'Rhino' over 59 times.

I hope that big brown somabitch friend of hers hunts you down from his native land and whips your scrony ass because you deserve it.

Fag.



Em - Sorry I laughed sugar.

Ha... slut.

.....

Feel free to have the picture.