Wednesday, January 31, 2007


We thought you might like a little transcript of lunchbreak text-banter to lighten your day, this little ditty was actually taken directly from Sanchez's phone as he went to get lunch. Enjoy.

D- I'm at Thai chief do you want Ginger beef.
E- I suppose that is O.K. do they have mango sticky rice?
D- Yes they do..
E- Ooo Ooo I want that!
D- She says it's not that sweet.
E- it is not suppose to be : )
D- Like I even know what the hell It is….. I'm just telling you what the slope zipper head just told me … Round-eye!
E- Is the chink wearing a straw pointy hat? Does she smell like back draft napalm from rubbing up against Charlie?
D- No... I didn't even see her until she came out of the rat hole in the floor... She smells like burnt rice and hot-dog water, don't worry though, the cook is American Indian.
E- Of course fucking sand niggers… Kill them all and let god sort them out.
D- God…. Peter got that stupid job..... fucking gate detail… sand niggers? Native American Indians are fucking tonto's dumb dumb… are you fading fag?
E- Oh you did say American Indian.. is he drunk….. Ass-face!
D- No but he good with land deals for glass beads… and fire water.
E- and he has a pack of bottle rockets shoved in his pants.
D- Before the white man came you could walk the rivers on the backs of the salmon.... then the white man came with his gambling cards and the hooch owl. Now all we have is government bread and cheese. hush phah, naka, naka, naka
E- Porn?
D- Casinos and fireworks
E - So yes porn?
D- Indian porn Hmmmmmmmm Yes I like porn... Do you want me to pick you up some porn?
E- Well you can watch some while you are making tamales tomorrow night…. Fag
E – Did you say fuck out load when you read that?
D- Its on the 2nd, that is tamales day… no I said ass… cock-gobbler.
E- Um hey Shit-stain Friday is the 2nd…..
D – And what is today…. Tuesday or Wednesday ….pekerface?
E- Whoresucker.
E- oh …um….it's ….Wednesday?
D- I'm sorry? what day is today miss-never-wrong ,did you pass out and loose a day their Starfucker.
E- Where 's my sticky tonto rice fag? Did you ask him to do a Sundance blessing over it or what?
D- Sundance blessing?... no he did a triple lindy dick twizzler on the north side of the plate…. You called it coconut milk…. Funny he was holding a nut at the time.
E- I told you I need protein
D- I told you that we needed to go off site away from the office and I would help you out…. Instead you choose injun spunk?
E- And really ….who's fault is that? Yours.. because you told them that I was brilliant and easily bored.
D- Noooo....yours, because you say yes to cock at work but not cock's who make you work?
E - OOOOOOOOO... That's borderline offensive! I don't tolerate that kind of harrassment!!

Monday, January 29, 2007

Since nobody else will


Friday, January 26, 2007

Fuck you Friday!

Fuck you fuckers for making me post somthing stupid, just to start a new thread!

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Halloween at Spacklers

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Rhinos do it too

This one is for the ladies

How I reckon NOT to catch dem fish!

Noodling is the practice, and some would contend sport, of fishing for school-age boys using only dinosaur fruit snacks and a box of pornographic magazines. Noodling may also be called grabbling, graveling, hogging, or tickling depending what southern state you're in (I call it dogging, simply because It's very similiar to what me and the mutt do on Wednesday nights after an 8-ball). I used to call it stumping, until my wife got pissed and threw me out (since that's her pet name and all).

Anyway, despite me being an idiot, noodling better explained by the name 'handfishing,' which is much like masturbation with your little sister. However this term is less popular among those who actually participate in masturbation with their sister. Only four states in the United States have laws permitting "handfishing". Those are the same states that permit the use of sodomy with zucchinis - Louisiana, Mississippi, Oklahoma and Tennessee.

The term "Noodling", although today is used primarily towards the capture of schoolage boys (as I mentioned above), can and has been applied to all hand-based colon massage, regardless of the method or race of boys sought. "Noodling" as a term has also been applied to various unconventional methods of high-colonics, such as any which do not use water, oil based liquids, gasoline, etc.; but this usage is much less common. This is easily explained by noting the origin of the term noodling, the word noodle is slang for a juvenile detention captain in Kansas.

Although the process of noodling is more complicated than described above... The choice of school boys as prey is not arbitrary, but comes from the circumsision of our forefathers. Homosexual schoolboys under the age of 10 live in bowling alleys and/or wooden dams constructed of sod and tampons.... and thus are easy to lure and capture due to the static nature of their dwelling. To begin "noodling" I go to these places with methamphetamines and liquid nitrogen. Placing these items inside the box of porn mags, just within the boundaries of the recess playground... I "noodle" the bait to entice the boys. If all goes as planned, I will jump forward and bag them with a Hefty and then secure my capture with cellophane and a large baseball bat.

From here most noodlers have 'spotters' (I normally take PBC with me) who help them bring the schoolboys into the panel van, either to hold or to beat the kids about the body. The first order of business after catching the schoolboy is to get them to suck me off.

When a boy bites onto a noodler it holds on for quite a while, believing it has caught some food. With teeth scraping and cutting into my foreskin, PBC helps to secure the school boy with an ancient chinese choke hold technique until the little fucker eases his bite off of my fucking nutsack (and I'm talking about the school boy, not PBC).

With some of the bigger boys being caught weighing in at up to 150-200 pounds, very few noodlers are strong enough (or brave enough) to attempt noodling by themselves. But I can fucking do it you pussy fags - for serious. Although carrying the school boy after they have been subdued can be quite a problem when they weigh that fucking much. Trying to secure them and remove them from my baby arm at the same time can be quite the challenge (because I'm hung like python, yo). So for the bigger school boys I always have a bag of McDonald's chicken nuggets at the ready.

Although no deaths have been recorded in the recent history of noodling, this could have more to do with the fact that very little about noodling has been seriously documented until recently... Because I knew the amount of new and inexperienced noodlers would be hanging around at my digs yo.. and I don't need you fuckheads on my territory tearing up virgin ass FOR me.

Despite that scenario, almost every instance of noodling involves minor wounds, due to the forceful and quite deceptive process of this activity. Superficial cuts are often received, thanks to the sharp fingernails and baby teeth of prey at such a young and tender age. This can be avoided to an extent by making them wear latex (catfish) cleaning gloves and gag-balls dipped in vaseline (although most noodlers take no such precautions, I have learned through time that a sharp fingernail in the asshole is not so fun. The vaseline is well... just because.)

Also, a slight danger of deformity on behalf of the noodler exists... In the back of the van with a shot gun and a 50 pound schoolboy latched onto your cock is not a position you want to find yourself in without help. Especially when your spotter is holding the shotgun. It is possible that statistics on noodling deformities are not available or accurate due to rule #23 in the Catholic Church Handbook (there's one in every rectory) and VP Dick Cheneys love letter to Condoleza Rice.

By far the most prevalent danger posed to "noodlers" are parents found on the recess playground who can smell meth from fucking 50 yards away and make it to the box before the youngins'. By far more dangerous than the parents are other noodlers and soccer moms who are willing to farm their children for a 40-bag and some old english, yo. I bang that shit like it's silly. For serious.

Both of these threats are always on the mind of experienced noodlers, and although they can level much more serious and lasting harm than the school boys themselves, most noodlers are not too worried about other parents/competitive noodlers/soccer moms that like to bang... because we play cards every Friday.

And I always lose my ass and have to buy groceries with my food stamps.

"Okie Noodling" provided anecdotal evidence that school boys have gnawed off the cock and balls of former noodlers, but no disabled noodlers were presented as proof.

Until now. I have become a eunic. thank you.

And this has been your public service announcement for the day.... for serious.


Craft Day

Monday, January 22, 2007

10 Things you should never do at a Klan Rally.

1.Write your friends name with lighter fluid in front of the burning cross.

2.Watch Monsters Ball on your ipod and yell in the middle of the rally "Halle Barrie is one hot Taco."

3.Bust open a pack of Ball park franks in front of the burning Cross and ask anyone if they would like to share a dog.

4.Ask someone if David Duke is related to one of the Hobbit characters in Lord of the Rings.

5. Dye your robe and hood a different color and tell everyone you're a non-conformist.

6. Wear Black-face under your robe and say "mammy mammy" after everything you say…

7. Put Terrel Owens name and number on the back of your robe with Duc-tape

8. Start singing show tunes during the rally.." T rhymes with P and P stands for pool and that means trouble. Trouble in River city."

9. Ask the guy next to you "why so secretive.. The donuts and coffee rock!"

10. Wear a 10 inch strap-on under your robe so everyone thinks you're excited… then tell them "Hey I'm not gay I'm just exited by all the Egyptian cotton around here.."

Sunday, January 21, 2007

What the Fuck!

Where is John Mennace (who cares) (white devil does)? Is he dead in TX? Fuck Texas.

Can I drive the bus? Or strap me on top of the bus (did you just say strap on) ?



Saturday, January 20, 2007

Once upon a time in the jungle

Damm Im horny. I wish some hot stud would come fill me with his monkey butter.

*around the corner of the jungle*

Damn I wanna fuck some ho. I need to dip my big meaty sausage stick in some sloppy poontang.

This shit kinda sucks. There are parantas in here.. Fuck.. Im not wearing any panties.

Oh shit. Who the fuck is that? Im bout to move in on that. Damn!

Come on over here ho. Gimmie some of that twat.

Who me?
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Yes you. Cum into my box where I can bang you properly.

And then......

White one - Why are we gettin it on in this box and who is that whore watchin us?

Black one - She is going to wipe me off when I am done.

White one - Thats cool. Bang away.
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Moments later...

I Feel alot better now that I got banged.
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Me too. Damn.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Friday, January 19, 2007

This is what I drew with microsoft paint

Carl's Coming Out!

After weeks of probing and poking (with a couple masterbation breaks), I have finally come up with a picture of real life Carl Spackler (thanks to Bo, Alie and EN).
It's time for anonymous blogging to come to an end.
Time for the faceless blogger to be revealed!
One of the men below is Carl (aka "all anal")Spackler, BUT so I don't completely ruin his anonimity, I am not saying which one.

I know it hurts at first and people will make fun, but you will be better off in the long run. We all heart you and are here to support your lifestyle!

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Send your very best to your bitch(es)

Valentines Day is a little short of a month away and already jewelry and boxed candy is filling the void on the shelves where Christmas decorations and stocking stuffers used to.

I figure, well fuck, not many people send out valentines anymore... But if they do have a fire lit under their asses to send one. I can hook you up with a few I've used in the past, because well I'm a giver like that.

Here are a couple swell sweet nothings to send to your Valentine:

and one for you poor married bastards:

I also use these for the Holidays...

And then of course just the spontaneous note to show I care...

I hope this helps.

You are slow

I was cleaning up my hard drive and found a photo of your mom!! LOL!!!! RONFLAS!!!!! LMAO!!!!! SMC!!!

And Iron my shirt whore

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

I hate American Idol

I'm not sure why I received this email, but anyone have a hankerin' to raise a little hell?

Dear blog author:
We recently came across your site,
blograma.blogspot.com, while searching for bloggers who blog about the hit tv show American Idol, now starting its sixth season.
A small group of us have started a new site called
American Idol Bloggers. Our intent is to bring American Idol bloggers closer together, and make a positive contribution to the Internet community.
Would you be interested in joining
American Idol Bloggers? Please take a few minutes to have a look at what we are trying to do, and if you are interested, there is a sign up page to get the ball rolling. We would greatly appreciate your support in this endeavour.
If you do not feel that your blog would be a good fit for
American Idol Bloggers, but are an American Iool fan, come visit us and one of our member bloggers. You can also check our FAQ Section to learn more about American Idol Bloggers.
We look forward to hearing from you and seeing you on
American Idol Bloggers.

Craig CantinAmerican Idol Bloggersinfo@american-idol-bloggers.com

You're welcome.

Memory Lane

So the other day I was reminiscing ol' WTL... When I remembered Tumbleweeds post about hiring Scumbag for a party she was thowing...I thought it would be a good way to break this blog in. So for those who remember this, enjoy. For those who don't, well, you should be able to enjoy it even more....

at Scumbags expense (of course)... but HEY... atleast I didn't go over that whole "pour some sugar on me" video episode... right Shane?

**Original Post done by Tumbleweed... 05/2006***

WANTED: Entertainment for BBQ

I just hired a dancer for the festivities tonight. He comes highly recommended by the likes of Hillary Clinton, Lorena Bobbitt and Carrot top. He is available for bachelorette parties, baby showers, Bar Mitzvah and “coming out” parties. If you would like to hire him for your event please give me a call.



Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Woman charged with malicious castration

LILLINGTON – A woman attacked a man in his genitals during a Christmas party, injuring him badly enough that he needed 50 stitches, authorities said Friday.

Rebecca Arnold Dawson, 34, was charged with malicious castration in a fight early Tuesday at a party hosted by the 38-year-old man's girlfriend, police said.

All three were heavily intoxicated, police Chief Frank Powers said.

Dawson is accused of grabbing the man's genitals. Police said a weapon was not used. He declined to elaborate.

"I believe he needed more than 52 stitches to repair the damage, but he is back home at this point," police Cpl. Brad Stevens said. "All we can tell you is that the injury was done with her hands."

Dawson does not have a listed phone number.

State law describes malicious castration as cutting off, maiming or disfiguring a person's genitals with the intent to hurt or render the victim impotent.

Dawson, who was released Wednesday on $50,000 bond, also was charged with offenses including assault causing serious bodily injury.

The castration arrest was the first of its kind in Lillington, a town of about 3,000 roughly 30 miles south of Raleigh, Powers said.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Chicks I Want to Bang...

lets start with that Giada chick. my sisters and mom watch her cooking show and as i was flipping through some channels i decided to watch it as i folded some laundry this weekend. this chick is HOT. she has great perky tits. i'm all about the italian thing as well. i've dated two Italian chicks before and they were great in the sack so my guess is she is very assertive in bed as well.

next up is Vanessa Minillo. she is currently dating that fag Nick Lachey. what a lucky bastard. i've always had a thing for latino/philipino bitches and i'd totally bang the shit out of this one. she's got a smoking body. my guess is she is pretty wild in the sack.

finally, the lovely and talented carrie underwood. now i'm sure several of you are thinking i am a total fag but for some reason she does it for me. i could care less about her music but to me she has that nice, wholesome look to her. she is someone you can take home to your parents and have no problems whatsoever. she probably wouldn't do anal but you never know. i'd love to experiement with her blonde beaver.

white devil and black jesus


Friday, January 12, 2007

This is what I am talking about

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Slogan this bitch

Okay so I made a banner... but it's kinda lonely just saying handicapped parking.. therefore... I commission everyone with half a brain to hit me with some thuper duper slogans so I can add it.

Or any other retarded ideas are more than welcome....

feel free to talk amongst each other
fuck cats.