Saturday, March 31, 2007

What the fuck

There are certain things that are beyond Handicap. There are other things that are beyond retarded. Below are two videos for you to enjoy. The second one is funny.

Friday, March 30, 2007

record breaker

“In February 1995, working in conjunction with nutritionists at the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, I adopted a super fiber-rich diet which allowed me to successfully produce a single extruded excrement the exact length of my colon: 26 feet. I documented the extrusion at the Cranbrook-Kingswood High School Bowling Alley, Bloomfield Hills, MI, which offered a length of floor suitable for the process and measuring the results. The cathartic diet was supplemented by a high intake of Metamucil fiber substance. The weeklong endurance prior to the event was ensured by the employment of a plug specifically designed to curtail any premature excretions.”

A little premature..... but that can be expected

You'll have to relight those candles and wait a little longer... I haven't left... and i'll never be away.. unless you want to boot me from this blog ... going on boot #8?...... just rewrap your presents... and sit patiently... everyone will get what they want.... besides shawn needs some time to catch up...
and since we are celebrating prematurely..... Merry Easter fags

I laughed!

Sorry Shawn to post over your stupid sappy "I'm married now cuz I'm dumb" post, but this was totally HP material! So, read this! If you can't.....pull the corners of your eyes and pretend you're a chink.

Thursday, March 29, 2007

Vacation Pics

I took some shots while on vacation. Most of them were on my wifes face. Don't worry, I thought about all of you while I was gone... I decided I would present my pictures Bostick style so all you fuck-ups can comprehend it.

This is me and the wife on our honeymoon.

Ladies, I know I'm a fox but just try to get over it and amire my beautiful bride would ya? She's a catch. Just look at that special smile. You should see her in pig-tails.

This is me and the wife fucking.

I try to go easy, but she loves it doggy style. Doesn't look much like a hellcat in the bedroom from the first photo does it? Yeah, she's innocent like that. It's the quiet ones you have to watch out for.

This is for Bostick.

Oh shit maybe that didn't work for ya, my bad.

Try to keep it off the screen buddy. Use ice packs.

This is for Spackler.

This is for Menace.

This is for Em.

Class Project...

i was thinking it would be fun if we were all to collaborate on a personal ad and post them on craigs list. we could do one for a guy and one for a girl. we could then post all the responses we receive here on the blog and then fuck with people by writing back all sorts of weird, demented shit.


This is all about YOU

This is you

These titties are retarded and are winking

This is your dad

This dude will whip your ass

You want to make out with this guy

Memory Lane.... poetry for Bostick

In the comments below Bostick happens to think i'm a poet.. a jailbird poet... well i couldn't disappoint him... he must have known my old post of poems.. which took me down memory lane again

entitled: Poetry Session with Johnny Menace

Thank you and welcome... I thought we could class it up a bit with a little poetry... Today I will be reading from one of my favorite urban poets of this century... I think his words really embody what American... "real america" is feeling today.... hmmmm let me begin...

Yo!She didnt pick up
guess she was gettin her clit eat up
I let it ring a whole bunch of times before I hung up
No mind I just finished diggin her out
wit my boxers on and I had my joint in her mouth
gaggin er an shit lookin down at the bitch laughing
I"m bout to smash that pussy like baby asprins
I"m fuckin her
like I had feelings for da bitch
I caught feeling for da bitch
Fuck if Pretty Tone's whipped!
If I wasn't whipped why I keep giving up my dick?
Like its voodo on da kid
I keep suckin on her clit
From the bed to the bathroom
Toney diggin her down
Sweatin bullets like we in the ring going some rounds
Miss Lucy, eatin sushi playin wit her coochie
On some Lil Kim shit tattooed right up on her booty
That said
"Beat you five beans you can't even move me!"
Know how to work her pussy muscles when yo dick is in that cootie
That's right
Yeah her nookie's the bomb
She had niggas wrapped around her middle finger like the female Fonz
But any way you wan..I'm call her again
Do-Do-Do-Do-Do(dialing on phone)
If she diss me I'ma fuck up her Benz

Wow... really speaks to you from the heart... Did everyone catch suttle sexual subtexts there? questions? comments? Can anyone tell me who this is?

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Carl Spackler... In The Flesh

I would like to thank Carl for finally coming out of his shell and sending a picture to me. Really Carl, I truly don't understand why you've been so secretive about what you look like. I find you QUITE handsome indeed!!

Not to mention... It gives a whole new meaning to bare-backing, doesn't it???


Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Dear Huneeabby - Take one

So when Huneeb and I joked about me submitting a Dear Abby letter to her a few days back about the silence of the comment section when Johnny and I go back and forth...everyone thought I was joking.

Not so much. I don't fuck around about things. So here is my "Dear Abby" letter.

Dear Huneabby,

I find that people find that the interaction between myself and johnny menace is interesting enough to stop commenting while we are "chatting".

I sometimes wonder what they're thinking. I have assumptions and apparently so do they... would you enlighten me?


Thank you,

Dear Emma,

Perhaps people stop commenting purely out of respect, we are often taught very young not to interrupt during exclusive conversations... but then again this is the weddingparty/meltdown/handicap parking so forget that idea, they respect no one. Ha

Perhaps many just want to see how it plays out. Obviously there is an attraction between the two of you and without interruption you two can get pretty steamy;

remember the incident on the melt at the church?

Voyeurism is definitely allowed and encouraged around the parking space so maybe we all just enjoy listening to the two of you interact.

Johnny tends to have a sort of mystery and elusiveness about him. He never really answers a question directly. Then everyone just worships you, hell that place comes alive when you enter. I really can't comment on what other people think and I really am not sure, maybe you should ask them?

Thank you

No, thank you Huneeb. Thank you. That church thread was golden.

Thanks to your fantastic advice mankind can indeed again begin to be saved.

and thank you especially for allowing me to revisit that thread and share it all with you...

And the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost.


Monday, March 26, 2007

Memory lane...... a wedding party

before there was a lounge there was wedding.... and though i was kicked out of that wedding... 5 or 6 times.... i still remember

Titled: aww me so hawrny
by: Johnny Menace

This is the hottest asian i knew.... Suk Mi Su Goo...... she dump me for a black man .. and the dirty bitch took pics and sent them to me.... Even though it was me who got her off that rice patty... and stuffed her in a duffle back.. flew her over.. got her a job at a shoelace factory

this is her... i miss those lips... her lips had this amazing grip

this her blowing her new black boyfriend

this her taking it in the ass from her new black boyfriend.. the bitch never did that with me..

Stupid fuckers

This chick did not have sex with this horse.

Well... I cant find any photos of her getting some horse cock so I will assume that she did not fuck the horse but it is ok with me if she did.

Memory Lane....... shane's enlightened peak

Another trip down Memory Lane... will shane ever reach this state of enlightenment again....

A post by shane entilted....... Philosophosizin'

If Budweiser is the king of beers.......

and Miller High Life is the champagne of beers..........

and Modelo is the illegal immigrant of beers...........

then Natural Light is the Natural Light of beers.

Wrap your heads around that one you stupid motherfuckers.

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Quit your job and go fishing

This is right before I rolled his cripple ass into the lake. Fucker casted in front of me, what was I supposed to do?

This is you age twelve.

I tracked down Meshes IP address and found this photo of him on match.com

Would you like some peppers with that poke chop sammich?
This old whore is hot because she has a wooden arm.
This is for Sullen girl. She loves clowns



This is for Carl to question.
This not anyone we know. It is just funny.