This is hot

I come from a long line of outdoorsman.......

my grandpa's retirement villa in north-central Missouri.

News and Other Cool Stuff...

since nobody else is blogging i'll go ahead and get the party started with some useful information...

- i went to Chik-fil-a for lunch yesterday. i love that place. what made it really special was all the hot milf's. there were tons of hot bitches up in that place. i would love to give some of them another fuck trophy. ideally i would meet one whose husband is constantly occupied with work and is just super horny. i'd come over to her house during lunch, we would fuck and then she would make me a sandwich.

- i just went #2...it felt and looked like i had puked out of my ass.

- i'm excited that spring training has started.

- lastnight before going to bed i got a raging hard on. i decided not to wack it and instead started reading a book.

- i might be going to seattle to visit a friend in august. maybe i'll pick up Sullen so that me, EN and her can have a 3-some.

In Box...

here is a sample of some text messages i have received lately...

- What if i told u my cab drivers name is torab chowdhury. is that something you might be interested in?

- why do u like shit stained balls?

- Lol, strange, i knew that would b u!

- I painted my cock red for valentines

- How bout them Hokies!!! 2-0 against UNC!!! I couldve sworn we were going to blow it...like you on a friday night.

- Ask you momma to give u a blumpkin. thats what shes giving me for valentines

- Im pooping!

Why I failed Algebra............

Or Geometry or whatever.

Math is for sucks.

Someone once told me, "you know, you're gonna need Algebra some day".

So I says to 'em, I says, "Why? I ain't gonna be an Algebra teacher. Fuck you."

True story.

Sane shit different day

Last Night...

did any of you crack heads get laid? how about anal? anyone do 69? i was hoping some of you fags would post some raunchy sex stories from lastnight since it was valentines day and shit. i haven't eaten box in awhile. i hope to this weekend.

i'm still getting over a cold. lastnight i had a healthy combination of robitussin and shiraz. i finished off the bottle (shiraz, not the robitussin)...is that wrong? i was feeling pretty good towards the end of the night.

unfortunately, i was a little groggy when i woke up this morning so i skipped the gym and went back to sleep for an hour. i bet if i didn't drink the wine i would have gone.

spackler OUT.

Happy Valentines day from the beach

I hope everyone gets some cooter or pecker.

Sighting? ... or...Postcard

^Wish you were here^

Don't do drugs, or you'll end up like me.............

DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Gay Moment(s)...

this weekend i experienced TWO gay moments...

1- i was driving home from the grocery store and found myself singing that Kelly Clarkson song "Because of You". even worse, i new almost every word.

2- lastnight i was folding some laundry and that Extreme Home Makeover show was on. the remote was too far away so i couldn't change it. anyway, they built this house for a dude who saved two people who were trapped in the World Trade Center on 9/11. he was in the Marines but because he was in active duty for so long his family suffered financially and the house he and his 5 kids were living in was falling apart. anyway, it was a real tear jerker when they showed the new house to this guy and his family. it was really emotional.

Important News...

on my way into work this morning i had an epiphany...

i have decided that if i go into the porn industry i want my name to be Boof Boofington.

please note, this shouldn't be confused with Boof Bonser...who pitches for the Minnesota Twins. he legally changed his first name to Boof.

finally, last night i had a great jerk session. it had been awhile since the last time. i had a massive load...so big i had to use two tissues.

ps- i want to give Sullen a rim job.

?

I'm not a "bitch", I'm a "bear".....

Fuck yes. The Colts won... Which means I am a winner too you silly fuckbags.

Anybody notice there were more turnovers on that field than a bakery? And how about those fumbles... honestly the game was about as horrifying as the HHR Chevy commercial. Which, really wasn't all that bad if you focused on the 80 year old.

I admit I have pity for the Bears. They tried so hard, gave it their best... (well at least in the first quarter... well, first 15 minutes of the game).So for all you pissy chicagoans I thought it would be best to at least offer you a saving grace to smile and look forward to in the future:



This little beauty was just installed in our 3rd floor cafeteria... For only $1.50 you can buy a little morning sex or noon-time nookie... It's only been in the cafeteria since this morning and already we are close to selling out.

Or perhaps people just enjoy the priveledge of fresh goat milk and cheese? I'll tell ya... Dirty Sanchez just sucks that shit straight from the teet... and then adds some to his mocha instead of whip because he says it's lower in fat AND non-dairy.

Where was I? Oh yes.. Anyway, I thought these machines were so brilliant that I decided every Chicago Bears fan should have one as a consolation prize for being Superbowl LOSERs. So I've ordered 186,000 of them to be shipped to the good city of Chicago immediately....

Enjoy. You can send the Thank you's to my PO Box.

I Miss Cocaine...

lastnight i was dowloading some music to my mp3 player. it was stuff i was going to listen to while i work out...so it was mostly techno shit. listening to the songs made me think back to my mid 20's when i started to listen to techno and was doing alot of drugs...especially cocaine and X. i really miss the white stuff. i love the smell of it. i love it when you rub it on your gums and then they go numb. thats how you know you have some good shit. sometimes my whole face would go numb. i really enjoy the high that coke gives you as well. you feel invincible. i would always joke with some friends that we should snort a bunch of blow and then go fag bashing...but we never did it. don't get me wrong, X is nice to. i still remember the first time i tried it. i could feel that stuff moving through my veins. it was awesome. however, i really like how coke hits you immediately...there is no waiting time. unfortunately, i would consume a dozen drinks, a gram of blow and 2-3 pills in a typical evening and they would all kind of cancel out each other thus leaving me somewhat hungover, nasal congestion and mildly depressed.

hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

ps- sunday is my birthday...yay for me!